Casa de Angeles
by Merkle
Summary: This story is based off of the 1970's hit Hotel California by the Eagles. Edward meets a beautiful mysterious woman that has a really big secret.Lemon's are included.AH/AU
1. Authors Introduction

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and she is oh so very awesome for letting me play with them. Thank you.**

**Authors Note.**

Hello my lovelies, so CDA didn't make it to the second rounds of votes…which is cool because those authors wrote some awesome shit! As promised I will be continuing CDA for the ultimate purpose, of allowing you all to find out what the hell Bella is.

It shall be revealed in due time, and please keep in mind…this story will not be a wham bam thank you ma'am. I am generally a detailed, loves to explain shit kind of authors. Your reviews fuel the madness in which I post these chapters. Hope you enjoy the so far beginning I have created and please review.

Thanks,

ME.


	2. Casa De Angeles

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and she is oh so very awesome for letting me play with them. Thank you.**

_**Casa de Angeles**_

The year was 1972 and I had just received my draft papers for the Vietnam War; I had spent little time with my family before leaving, I didn't want for any of them to think that I was scared of this. I had wanted it for some odd reason. I know in my gut that I will be back, so I had made sure that I warned them not to worry. This would not be a bad thing, and I could start college as soon as I got back. Maybe my experience with the medical field would help me out there; maybe it wouldn't only time could tell that story.

I ruffled my hair and rolled down the window to my car, it was a warm summer night in California and I could smell the bakeries passing by. My stomach growled as I glanced out at the long desert highway ahead of me. The papers were issued out of my birth town Chicago, IL and instead of riding the crowded bus I decided to drive my 1969 Chevy Nova to base. I didn't really know what to expect, but I had a feeling this was going to definitely be an experience of a life time.

I avoided the picketing crowds gathering around the other draftee's as I pulled out of town, there was no need to get involved with those radicals. They would tear me to pieces for actually wanting this, though I must admit that I am going to be rather upset when they chop off my hair. I actually liked my long untamable mess of a head. The bronze color accented my deep green eyes and strong jaw line, not that I am girly by any means, no my sister Alice told me this and well I learned a long time ago that you never bet against her.

She was the least worried of my family, she had the same gut feeling that I would return home safely and that made me feel a whole hell of a lot better. It was sad to say but I trusted her gut instincts over my own and only wish that I could take her to war with me. Lord knows she'd be a useful asset to have around, kind of like a lucky charm.

I swerved slightly on the dirt highway and realized that I had possibly missed my exit. I hadn't really been paying attention and hoped that I hadn't driven too far away from my destination. I turned the car around and started heading in the opposite direction, hours had passed since I left home and the night air was bouncing around me, my eyes were growing heavier as I squinted through the dirt on the windshield.

Up ahead in the distance I could see a shimmering light that looked faintly like a hotel sign. I don't remember seeing it before, but then again I didn't see my exit either. As I approached an iron gate blocking the entrance to the hotel I realized that it was harder to hold my head up and my sight was growing dim, so I rang the gate bell hoping to stop in for just the night. I could leave early in the morning and maybe they could give me directions to where I needed to go.

What sounded like a loud mission bell rang in the distance as the large Iron Gate slowly opened. It wasn't being pulled by anyone that I could see and as far I noticed there wasn't any kind of mechanics controlling it. A creepy chill ran up and down my arms giving me goose bumps and causing the hair on my arms to stand up. I pulled the car forward down the dirt drive way and turned off the headlights. Maybe I could ask how the gate operated, surely that would put my mind at ease.

I climbed out of my car and pulled a small overnight bag out of the back seat. I made sure to check my door locks in case they had that kind of problem out here and looked around. The entire place seemed to be deserted of all living things. The only thing other than me and my car was an old beat up red truck that looked as if it belongs back in the 1940's. I am surprised it didn't have a wind up start on the front of it.

A heard a small creak near me and turned towards a yellow lighted door way, and there she stood, she had long brown hair that reached the middle of her back with pale skin and big brown eyes. I could make out the small smirk on her face but I couldn't tell what she was thinking. I was normally pretty good at reading people, and it seemed that this one was speaking another language simply through her eyes. I was instantly curious about her and thinking to myself that this could be heaven or hell but I was definitely along for the ride.

"Welcome to Casa De Angeles."

I was caught off guard by her melodic voice; it rang in my ears and sent another wave of chills down my spine. Her curvaceous body swayed slightly as she waved for me to follow her inside. Her smirk never faded as I hitched my bag over my shoulder and walked past her into the entry way. She smelt floral something that I could only describe as Freesia and Strawberry.

"Hello, my name is Edward Mason."

"Nice, to meet you Mr. Mason, My name is Bella."

"You can call me Edward, and you name is very fitting."

"Thank Edward, and why is that?"

"It means beautiful in Italian."

"Oh well, I am far from that."

"I'd like to argue with you about that."

"Well Edward, maybe you can save that argument for another day. Please follow me."

I subconsciously ran my fingers through my hair as she walked past me and into a smaller room that held one desk and a few keys that were hung up behind it. I never had a girlfriend before and I had no idea what I was doing, but I couldn't stop the words that came out of my mouth when talking to her, and I had never in my entire life been so forward with someone before. But then again, I had never in my life met someone as beautiful as her before now.

"How long will you be staying?"

"Only for the night."

"Ok, well I'll put you in room 33; it's one of my favorite."

"Why is that?"

"It has the most history involved."

"Care to share the details?"

"Maybe some other time, follow me."

There were three halls extending from the center room that we were presently in, I could picture a maze with children running along the corridors playing hide and go seek. Bella had lit a candle and started down the far right hall way towards what I assume to be the room I would be staying in. Her slender waste line gently moved from side to side as if it was just the breeze in the room to carry her feet.

I could feel my own arousal as I watched her lead the way and decided that I should change not only my line of sight, but also my line of thinking. This girl would not want me and advancement would probably scare her into calling the man or something. I had a pretty clean record and I needed to keep it that way if I planned on attending medical school when I got back home.

_Welcome_

"I'm sorry, did you say something Bella?"

"No, but here we are."

Bella had opened the door to my room and stood aside with her arm extended out granting me passage. I swear I heard someone whisper 'Welcome' as we approached the door. Maybe it's just been a long night; I guess I could be hearing things.

_Welcome_

"Bella, are you sure you didn't just hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"I must be going crazy."

"Maybe you are."

Bella had tilted her head to the side allowing her long brown hair to cascade around her heart shaped face. Her eye brows knitted together forming a small crease on her forehead…was I suppose to say something else? I ran my fingers through my hair again and watched as the twinkle in her eyes appeared with a small smirk; this woman was going to be the death of me.

"Edward, are you hungry?"

"A little bit I guess, I hadn't really thought of it. Why?"

"Well, I made some spaghetti; there is plenty if you'd like to eat with me."

"Oh, that sounds great. Let me freshen up a bit and…"

"Just meet me back at the front desk."

She had not only cut me off but she left no room for rebuttal, not that I would have argued with her…hell, she was offering me free food with a beautiful woman, now I ask you, what man in his right mind would turn that down? I would be a damn fool if I did. Bella smiled gently and walked briskly back down the hall way, my eyes lingered a little longer than really was necessary.

_Beautiful_

"You got that right."

Great, now I was talking to the imaginary voices in my head. I shut the room door quietly and turned to have a look around my room. It was very simple; a huge bed took up most of the room with a small wooden night stand on the side. There were mirrors on the ceiling above the four post canopy and another small door leading to what I hoped was a bathroom.

I set my overnight bag on the bed and unbuttoned the first two top buttons on my shirt. Once I felt comfortable in my own clothes I walked towards the bathroom and glanced around. There was a sink, toilet, and an old time bath tub that sat up on four small rounded legs. It made me wonder how far back the history of this place went and I made a mental reminder to ask Bella about the history of the room again. At least that could be a conversation starter if she seemed quiet at dinner.

I turned on the hot water in the sink and began washing my face off steam picked up quickly in the small bathroom so I towel dried off and stepped back into my room. There was a window overlooking more deserts and a small pool. A wooden fence surrounded the area and extended off towards what appeared to be a dim lit court yard. There was a soft melody playing in the background and laughter, but I could not see anyone out there…maybe the courtyard extended past my vision? I shrugged my shoulders and shut the window as another chill ran down my spine. I didn't feel cold, yet the hair was standing up on my arms again.

Definitely crazy.

I grabbed the overnight bag and gripped the handle tightly with my fingers before flinging it over on the night stand that occupied the left hand side of the bed. Hopefully a good night's sleep tonight will help with the delusions I was presently having. I fished an old lighter out of my jean pockets and flicked it on, my stomach was now doing summersaults reminding me that there was food waiting to be served, so I used the flame of my small lighter to light the way down the quiet hall way.

When I had made it back to the little room I wasn't at all surprised to see Bella standing with her back facing me humming what sounded like Claire De Lune, she was absent mindedly drawing on a scrap piece of paper and yet she looked more beautiful than I had ever imagined her to be.

"You don't seem to get very many guests here?"

She turned her body towards me and smiled shyly before rolling her eyes and motioning me towards one of the other hall ways "There is always plenty of room here, no one ever stops by." She said with a chuckle laced with sarcasm. I smiled even though she probably didn't see me and followed her through another door that led us outside. We were rather close to the pool on a cement back porch that had six or seven different tables with chairs set up. One was littered with plates and glasses as well as a pot of what I assume to be her spaghetti and two candles.

"Do you work here often?"

"We're open all year, any time of year you will find me here sitting and waiting for guest."

"So you live here?"

"I have no place else I can be…so yea."

"No place else you can be? I'm sorry you lost me there…"

She let out a long sigh as we took a seat at the table, she began serving our plates and wringing her hands together nervously, it seemed like a pretty simple question but I didn't bring it up again, maybe there was some deep dark secret that she didn't feel comfortable with talking to me about. Everything was beginning to grow silent except for the clinking of silverware as she finished setting up the table. I didn't want her to stop talking so I brought out my back up plan.

"You mentioned a history to this place earlier; do you have time to tell me the story?"

"Are you sure you want to hear it?"

I nodded my head for her to continue, I felt that speaking wasn't really a necessary acknowledgment with her, she was simple and I could only form simple answers at the present time. I felt like I was teetering between being tired and overly anxious to hear her speak again.

"Well, as long we don't end up talking about some silly and irrelevant chemical processes I'll be happy to tell the story."

"Bad experience?"

"You can say I have dealt with my fair share of 'researchers'"

"Researchers?"

"I'll get to that during the story I guess, do you want something to drink?"

"Bella, I can get the drinks if you tell me where they are."

"Oh don't worry about that, what would you like?"

"Do you have any wine?"

"Oh we haven't had alcohol here since 1969."

"Why not?"

"My mother committed suicide and my father was an alcoholic, so once he died I kind of just got rid of the stuff."

"Oh, sorry to hear that, water will be fine."

"Ok, I'll be right back."

I could tell by her quickened pace that I had possibly brought up a conversation that she really didn't want to have with me. I couldn't blame her at all, how tragic her life must have been growing up. I had a sudden urge to protect her from the cruelty that was held within these walls, what history could really hold such a beautiful and intelligent creature here?

Bella held a craving for me that I had never experienced, her very presences demanded my full attention, and although I know I needed sleep tonight, I couldn't help but try to keep myself awake just so that I could have one more minute with her, I wonder if she would mind my return when I got out of the war…surely I could pass myself off as just a traveler, I didn't want her to think of me as some kind of stalker.

"Sorry that took so long Edward."

"Oh, you didn't take long at all."

I hoped she couldn't hear the fake sincerity in my voice, I did not mean to be rude, and I surely did not mean to rush her. I wasn't really thirsty for water, more like just her and nothing but her. I felt like a monster craving a woman that I should not have, not only was she probably far too innocent for me, but I would have to leave in the morning with no answer on when I could return to her. I am a monster, but I cannot stop myself, I crave her in the worst kind of way.

She had set the glasses of water down on the table and took a seat across from me crossing her legs gently before placing her elbow down on the table to rest her head. The slight tilt in her head caused a glimmer from the candle light to sparkle in the iris of her deep chocolate eyes. Normally brown eyes were an automatic deterrent for me; they were so flat and lifeless. Her eyes held emotion, a deep running emotion that I could not tear myself away from nor did I want to at this point.

"Bella?"

"Oh sorry, did I space out?"

"No, No…you're fine. I am still interested in the history of this place though."

"Oh yea, that…well it is a pretty long story."

"I have time if you do."

"It gives most people night mares."

"I think I can handle it."

"I thought you might say that."

She smirked at me as I grinned back at her, she was starting to be a little bit more playful but I noticed that her food was untouched, so was her glass of water. My plate was half empty and my glass was probably about half full now. I didn't want to keep her from eating so that she could tell me a story or anything, but then again she seemed a little hesitant to eat the food in front of her. Her fork twirled in the pasta as she thought over how to start the story, or at least that is what I assume she was thinking about. I couldn't really imagine it being anything else that captured her attention. I cleared my throat slightly and stuck another bite of pasta in my mouth.

"Back in the 1960's everything was…different around here. People would come and stay for a weekend just to get away, this place has always had a real charm to it I guess. My mother and father bought it back in the late 50's. Anyways there was always an old story about this place being haunted, we never really paid it much attention, but rumor was that you could hear voices, people welcoming you from a distance, telling you stories about their crimes and alibis; supposedly this was the site of a mass suicide murder. People said that they all danced in the summer heat as some sort of ritual and stabbed each other to death while the leader bathed in their blood."

She made a disgusted face and turned her body so that she was now angled away from the table and towards the court yard. I couldn't help but mimic her position and wonder if the emotion on her face was because she didn't believe it or because the thought of blood grossed her out. Surely there had to be a way to prove whether or not there was a mass suicide on these grounds, it would have to be in the news somewhere. She took in a deep breath and let out another long sigh before turning her gaze towards mine again.

"You didn't believe it?"

It came out more like a statement than it did a question. She was a little hesitant to answer but eventually nodded her head in agreement, so she didn't believe it, now what? Does she have reason to believe that the story is true?

"It was a silly story, it still is a silly story, people make things up just to a get rile out of you."

"I hear that."

She smiled at my enthusiasm and pointed out towards the courtyard, it didn't seem as if she pointing directly towards the courtyard, but maybe towards the tree sitting in the center of the courtyard with a bench wrapped around it.

"Do you want to go sit over there?"

"Oh, no…but that is the location we are discussing."

"So tell me Bella, what is so scary about that story, and what seems to have you so fascinated in it?"

"Well, there is more to the story."

"Did you plan on telling me the rest?"

She smiled at me and nodded her slightly as I reached to grab my now empty glass of water. She pushed her glass slightly towards me and motioned for me to drink it. I didn't question her, I didn't want to steer her attention away from telling me her story or well, the history of this place. Bella pulled her hair back from her face and cleared her throat slightly before continuing her story.

"My mother believed the story. She believed all of it, my father thought she was crazy, she kept waking up in the middle of the night talking about voices and people out in the courtyard. He never heard a thing out there, but every night he would get up with her and go inspect the courtyard. He would always return empty handed and a little bit more sluggish than he was the first time. That's when I think he took to drinking. Maybe it was his way of getting a good night sleep."

Bella shrugged her shoulders and crossed her fingers together in her lap. Before uncrossing and then re-crossing her legs again. I watched as the light flickered off of the pale skin of her legs and silently wished that more could be exposed to me than was. Whether this story turned out to be scary or not I was probably not going to be sleeping well tonight, every second apart from her made me feel a little bit more anxious. After I had taken another drink I nodded my head in her direction for her to continue.

"After awhile my mother stopped acting like herself she would talk to people who were not there and the guest started to get a little worried, so they eventually stopped coming here. She would rant to me about people outside dancing and to never forget but always remember, it made no sense at the time. My father well he loved my mother, but he did blame her for the business sinking. She never stopped believing in that story, and eventually she was found one morning with her wrist slit under that tree over there. Charlie, my father, couldn't take it…he blamed himself for not getting her proper help and even though the doctor doesn't deem it as suicide I believe he drank himself to death. It was done on purpose, so to me that equals suicide.

That was 1969, when I dumped out all of the liquor. I didn't ever expect anyone to come back to this place. It doesn't really hold anyone but me to it, everyone that it did hold captive by its natural charm kind of found a way out I guess."

"Why don't you leave?"

"I can't."

I looked at her for a second and turned her words over in my head, I still understand why she couldn't just leave. She didn't have to sale the place if it held some sort of strange sentimental value. But she didn't have to stay here, not unless she was willing to and wanted to stay here.

"Edward, it's getting really late…why don't I walk you to your room."

I must have been thinking over everything because I seemed to have been a little unobservant, Bella was now standing in front of me with her hand extended down towards me offering to help me up. I didn't refuse and placed my hand gently in hers before standing up from my chair.

"Bella, your hand is freezing."

"Sorry about that, poor blood circulation."

I felt the loss of her touch as she pulled her hand back shyly and took a glance at her feet. She pulled a candle off of the table we were sitting at and began leading the way back to my room. I could not make out too many of her features due to her holding the candle directly in front of her, she only looked like a dark silhouette gliding through the hall way.

Once we reached my room and repeated the same dance of her opening the door for me and motioning for me to enter I stopped in my tracks. I remembered that the conversation started with the room I was presently staying in. I don't remember her telling me the history involving this room though.

"Bella, you said that this room had a history."

"According to the rumors, this was the Master's chambers, after he bathed in the blood he came in here, got really drunk off of wine, and then he slit his own throat."

"Really?"

"That's what they say, but I don't think it's true."

"You said that this was one of your favorite rooms?"

"I like the mirrors on the top of the bed, and it was my mother's favorite room. When her and my father would fight she would sleep in here."

"Oh, so it's not haunted?"

"I thought you said you wouldn't get scared?"

"I'm fine…really."

"Ok, well then good night Edward."

"Goodnight Bella."

I closed the door and then immediately walked over to the bed to lie down. There was no point in missing out on some sleep if she was going to be doing the same thing. I closed my eyes instead of looking at myself in the mirrors above and crawled under the covers. The bed was soft and warm, the linens smelt like Bella and I figured that it must be something that she washes the laundry in.

I was beyond comfortable, and even though I was so comfortable I couldn't seem to get good sleep. I sat up straight in the bed and looked out the window. The moonlight was dancing over the gentle waves of the pool and suddenly I felt really hot, I shed my clothes and tossed them on the floor beside the bed and pulled back the large comforter so that I could sleep on the sheet.

Soon I was drifting to sleep, but it didn't feel like sleep. My heart was racing and my body felt rigid and cold. I could hear faint voices in the background but there was one in general that called to me. I could hear her sweet voice tickling my ear and I swear I felt her breath cascading down the side of my face.

"_It's just a dream Edward; we are just prisoners here, of our own device. Wake up Edward."_

I couldn't respond but mind told me that I wanted to, why was this angel haunting my dreams? I could hear the other voices still, but it seemed as if they were calling me from far away, I ran through corridors that seemed like black mazes all leading to the same empty and dark room. I needed to find the passage back to Bella; I needed to hear her voice again.

"_Relax Edward, you can wake up now."_

I shot up quickly grasping for anything or anyone who might be within my reach and found Bella. She was sitting on the side of the bed with her legs exposed and body angled towards me. The covers had been thrown off of me leaving my body exposed to the world but she didn't seem to mind. My hands were still gripped tightly to the sides of her arms when she leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"It's ok Edward."

I let out a sigh and pulled her further into my arms, she didn't hesitate as I hugged her close to my body. Instead she leaned into the hug; it seemed as if she was trying to lay me down with the pressure she was placing on my chest with her body. Her cool skin was helping with the heat wave that had not only taken over the room but my body as well.

Her delicate hands slid behind my back as her nails grazed lazily down my spine. I felt as if I was stuck inside my body while someone else took control of me, I was naked with a woman in a hotel room where the location was still unknown to me, yet I was enjoying every second of this terrible night mare.

"Take me Edward."

There was a passionate innocence in the moment, and I actually felt the urge to shake my head, was I dreaming? Was the most mysterious beautiful woman in the world asking me to take her? I may have been innocent but my mind was far from it, I am a man after all. I didn't answer but instead started to pepper kisses from her jaw down her neckline to her collar bone.

She gasped slightly but tilted her head to allow me more access. Her night gown was a button up t-shirt that I assume to be her fathers, and as I moved from kissing her neck to her full pouty lips my hands found their way to the buttons only to surprise me that she had already undone most of them herself. I didn't really know what to do but to kiss and let my body take over my actions from here on out, she had been wearing nothing under the t-shirt and now the moon light was dancing all over her pale skin. Her breasts were round and firm much like the rest of the curves along her body. She looked like an angel.

"I have never um…done this before."

I hoped that my voice didn't betray me, I may have been lacking somewhat in experience but I was not lacking in confidence, nor was I lacking in the will to satisfy her tonight. I needed to taste her, to feel every inch of her body connected with mine.

"I haven't either."

"Are you sure Bella?"

"Take me Edward."

A determination filled her eyes as her lips met my own. She pulled her body completely on top of mine and started kissing me at my jaw line. She then moved farther south raining kisses down my neck to my collar bone and then to my chest where she lazily moved her tongue around my pecks. Her soft hands slid down my waste until she was kissing right above my growing. I moaned slightly as she licked the top of my shaft and then began bobbing seductively up and down.

It didn't take me long to climax after she gripped my balls in her hand and began massaging. She swallowed up everything leaving no indication that a mess had ever even been made before peppering more lazy kisses up my chest. It was then that I realized that no matter what happened after tonight, I would never forget this woman for all of my life. I mentally vowed to find her again no matter what the cost were.

Once she was sitting on top of me kissing me again I flipped her body over and began to slowly give her the gift that she had just given me. I trailed kisses down her body taking my time to pinch and suck at her hard nipples once I had reached her clit I began the same process of pinching and sucking until she screamed and climaxed in my mouth. It was the most heaven sent taste I had ever had before and I drank every bit of it up before trailing more kisses up her thighs and back to her beautiful lips.

"Take me Edward."

I was already fully aroused and she was obviously more than ready, I heard that for girls it hurts there first time, so I wanted to take it slow with her. It wasn't just about my own pleasure, I needed to please her more than I did myself so I positioned myself at her entrance and slow started to enter. She whimpered slightly beneath me before wiggling herself free and pushing me away. Did I do something wrong?

She pulled one of my arms out from underneath me and pushed me to where I was lying on my back. I was a little shocked to say the least. There was a tiffany-twisted look in her eyes as she crawled on top of me and positioned herself above my growing. She slowly moved herself in a circular pattern teasing my arousal until I could not take it anymore, now I was the one who was whimpering in my need for her. She smirked slightly before dropping slowly onto my growing until I was completely inside her.

Her head arched back and her hair fell past her waist barely tickling my shins. She sat there for a moment taking all of me in her and adjusting to my size before she started rocking back forth on me. Her cries turned into moans and I was in a complete awe watching this beautiful woman ravaged in nothing but pure lust caused by me. I felt a burst of confidence as she rocked on me picking up pace and then slowing down to match my heavy breaths.

I flipped us over and took control of her as she had done to me earlier; I began pumping harder and faster into her as her nails dug into my shoulders and my back. I wanted to hear her scream my name, I wanted to see that animalistic look in her eyes again so I pumped harder and faster with each breath I took until I got my wish. As she climaxed she screamed my name and bit down into my shoulder with her nails digging into my back. I exploded inside her and crumpled into a pile on her chest as she began humming and running her fingers through my hair. I felt exhausted and at peace as I rested in between her breast. Soon my eyes lids grew heavy and I fell asleep nestled in her arms listening to the sound of her chest rise and fall with each breath she took.

My Bella, my angel.

It felt like it was way too soon that I was again uncomfortable with the heat of the sun beating on the side of my face. I didn't want to be late arriving in Chicago, IL but I didn't want to leave, not without her, not without my new life, my love, not without Bella by my side.

_You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave._

I cracked my eyes open only to be startled fully, I jumped and hit my head on the inside of my car and looked around. I was still fully clothed, sitting in my car on the side of a high way with a street sign that looked just like the exit I missed last night. I shook my head and slammed my fist on the side of my steering wheel successfully wounding my hand in the process before I threw my seat belt off and stepped out of the car in a rage. There was no way that last night didn't happen. It was so real, yet here I was alone.

I kicked the door to my car and hoped back inside starting the engine and driving off. I was going to keep my promise and return to Bella, maybe not right this minute, but I would return. There was no doubt in my mind that the love and passion I felt last night was real, and I was going to find her again except maybe this time, there would be some more detailed explaining on her end to do.


	3. So It Begins

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and she is oh so very awesome for letting me play with them. Thank you.**

**So It Begins**

The entire drive towards Chicago, IL I could not get her off of my mind. As desperate and selfish as it sounds she would also probably be the only reason right now that I made it out of here alive and back home. I had to find this mysterious Bella and save her from herself, I needed her to be mine forever and even then an eternity was probably not enough time with her.

I had left my car on the outside of the station and was currently sitting in a line to get a haircut. The check in process was very mundane and organized; everything including everyone had a place and purpose, which I guess is good for those people who are concerned about where their tax dollars are going. Consistency was a vital part of the military branches but it made me feel more like a robot, or well a soon to be robot.

There were a few other people sitting in the plastic chairs next to me also waiting to have their hair chopped off. One guy had hair that appeared almost as untamable as my own except it was golden blonde. There was an awkward glance shared between us when I had been caught staring at his hair so I diverted my eyes to the floor and began pushing a speck of dirt around with the toe of my shoe. I didn't want to have enemies in this place and I sure as hell didn't want to have any of the guys thinking that I was gay.

"My name is Jasper Whitlock."

My head jerked up a little too quickly when the blonde had cleared his throat and stuck his hand out towards me. I looked at his hand and then my eyes traveled up his arm to his expectant glare. I needed to get my mind out of the clouds and focus so I stuck my hand out and shook his quickly as he took the seat right next to me.

"Sorry about that man, I'm kind of out of it right now…my name is Edward Mason."

He nodded his head as an all knowing smile approached his face. His lips curved up into a smirk as he leaned forward on his elbows and clasped his hands together lacing each finger slowly before taking a deep breath and leaning back in the uncomfortable chair.

"LSD?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"LSD?"

"What, Oh…no man."

Jasper twisted his mouth to the side like he was thinking harder than absolutely necessary. I can't believe the guy just asked me if I was on LSD. Only the hippies really took that stuff, come to think about it…I guess I really didn't pay attention to his entire appearance, his tie dye shirt was nothing out of the ordinary but he did have a few questionable quirks about him. Like the belt bottoms he wore and the dark circles under his eyes due to lack of sleep, I kind of wondered how much Jasper really knew about LSD.

"Grass?"

"No, I do not mess with drugs man."

"Oh, so then what's got you out of it right now?"

"A girl."

Jasper raised an eyebrow and turned his head to the side when the man in the dark green uniform came into the waiting room. He held a brown clip board and scanned it carefully before raising his head and calling on another poor soul named Clarence Jones. I felt bad for the guy because he had black thick framed glasses and hair that probably went down to his waste once he undid the pony tail. It was all about to disappear for him, and from the sad look on his face he was aware of that fact.

Both men moved at a slow pace through the door and with a click it closed again. Jasper looked from the door back to me and then down towards the floor where his feet shuffled slightly and the chair squeaked under his weight. I decided that this time it was my turn for the line of questioning, I was very curious by nature anyways.

"LSD?"

"Not in a long time."

"Grass?"

"A few weeks ago."

"Really?"

Jasper smirked and then shook his head before letting out another long and drawn out sigh, he began rubbing his hands together somewhat nervously and I had wondered if I again stuck my foot in my mouth. I glanced down at the floor and began moving the speck of dirt around again.

"Yes really. I guess you can say I have a pretty colorful background. My parents were hippies so I was born into all of that stuff. I'm actually kind of glad to be here, I like history and the whole idea of military services. How about you? Do you have any ghost in your closet?"

I looked at Jasper and couldn't help the short lived chuckle that escaped my mouth. I wouldn't say I had any 'skeletons' in my closet but I might have a few ghost there now. How in the world would a person describe that without being looked at as if they were crazy? I better stick to the family story for the sake of my own sanity.

"Nothing major, I have a younger sister and a pretty cool family I guess. I plan to go to medical school when I get out of here."

"How young?"

"What?"

"You sister, how young is she?"

"Oh, she's only a year younger than me."

"And how old are you?"

"18 and you?"

"19."

We both tightened our expressions and nodded before turning back towards the ground. Jasper began lacing his fingers together as I played with my speck of dirt. I didn't feel awkward talking to him, actually I felt like I had known him my whole life, but in reality we had just met and well, that made things a bit weird if you ask me.

"I hope we get stuck together, we seem to have the same goal in mind."

"Oh yea? And what goal is that?"

"Stay alive."

I laughed at the ground and shook my head to agree with his statement, Jasper patted me on the back and then leaned back in his chair while he folded his arms behind his head. Four of the new enlistments had already started to pile out of the room so that means we had to be coming up on the list soon. I did wonder what exactly it was that we would be trained and sent off to do in the war. The large wooden door creaked open again but this time there was a different man holding the brown clip board scanning for names. They must have had a shift change.

"Edward Mason and Jasper Whitlock?"

We both stood up but Jasper seemed to have a little bit more 'pep in his step' than I did. I wasn't really looking forward to my hair being chopped off. We sat in our chairs pretty much facing each other with stern expressions on our face. The electric buzzing sound coming from the clippers startled me slightly at first which caused Jasper too chuckle at me, he must think that I am a real pansy ass. I rolled my eyes and concentrated on the mirror image of the back of Jasper's head. It also reflected myself and reminded me of a multi dimensional portrait.

The buzz cuts were sloppy and I could hear Alice snickering and advising how she could fix it for me in the back of my mind. I was really going to miss her; I wonder what she would think about Bella? A wave of Jasper's hand in front of my face brought my out of my musings, he was waving it slowly with that all knowing look in his eyes again.

"Are you sure you haven't smoked any grass before coming here Edward?"

"Yea man."

"Hmm…well I don't mind being your partner, but I am going to ask that you stay in the real world, I can't save both of our asses the entire time."

Jasper let out a cocky laugh as we started towards check in to get our uniform and bunk assignments. I was pretty particular about sharing a room with anyone and kind of hoped that they would let me have a private bunk. I realized quickly that I had no such luck when a piece of paper detailing a room number along with a stack of green cloth with black boots was piled into my arms and I was shoved away.

I followed other soldiers to the housing building until I spotted my new assigned room number. There was a gangly man standing in the room unpacking his suit case and setting up his bed when I entered the room alone.

"Are you my new roommate?"

"I guess I am my name is Edward Mason."

I stuck my hand out to the kid and he returned the gesture by shaking my hand gently. This kid didn't look any older than I was he maybe stood at a whole five feet eight inches tall, his hair was jet black with dark brown eyes. I set my stuff next to what I assume to be my bed on the other side of the room and began the tedious process of unpacking everything. I had wondered how far down the hall Jasper would be from me, so far he was the only friend I had made in this place.

"My name is Eric Yorkie by the way."

"Nice to meet you Eric."

I continued unpacking my stuff until a loud alarm sounded through the entire building, Eric dropped what he was doing and flung the bedroom door open and stood outside of it. I didn't know if this was what we were required to do but I followed suit not wanting to start any problems. There were several other men already standing outside of the room with their shoulders squared off and their arms laying flat at their sides. I took a glance down the hall until I spotted Jasper wearing what I can only assume to be a look of disgust on his face. Maybe he doesn't like his new roommate? There were men standing on either side of them, one was a short but stocky build with blonde hair, blue eyes and a cocky smirk on his face while the other was a tan complexion man with brown hair and grey eyes. Jasper stood out amongst them and nodded his head in my direction as soon as he spotted me.

Out of courtesy I gave the same nod and waited for our new commander to finish running his checks as he walked down the hall way with another brown clip board in hand. Again, I felt more like a robot than I did a human being at this point in time.

The instructor was an older man, possibly in his late fifties early sixties with grey hair that almost looked translucent in the hall lighting. His face was covered in wrinkles and dull brown eyes didn't seem to hold to much excitement. He had a stern 'no bullshit' look on his face and I got the feeling that training was going to be no walk in the park for some of us.

After a very brief introduction the instructor who I now know as Sgt. Bilkie gave us what our assignments would be. I was a little bit excited to hear that Jasper and I would be training in the same aeronautics field together. I had always wanted to learn how to fly and this was a great opportunity to do so, I guess you can say that I was trying to look at the glass as half full. Training was going to start early tomorrow morning, we were not told how early so I decided to read a few pages out of a book I had packed and then I settled in to bed for the night. My mind was still racing with thoughts of Bella and what she must be thinking.

"Wake up assholes! You have fifteen minutes to get your scrawny butts dressed and out on the field!"

My body jerked straight up from the loud banging on the door, I glanced at the clock that read 3:00 AM and groaned. It was way too early to be awake, but I threw the covers off of me and reached for the green military issued uniform that I would be wearing for the next few years. After a very quick inspection Eric and I ran out of the room, down the hall, and outside to the court yard where other men were already standing at attention awaiting further instructions.

This is officially torture at its finest. As I stood in line next to Eric I noticed Jasper and his roommate the stocky blonde come out of the building. Jasper stood next to me at attention and elbowed me in my side to let me know that he was there. I glanced at him through the corner of my eye as he smirked at me. For 3:00 AM he seemed pretty chipper and wide awake which surprised me slightly but not very much. I knew from the beginning that Jasper would be the one who enjoyed this torture the most.

We did pushups and pull ups, we ran for what felt like hours straight in all weather conditions. We practically starved during our physical conditioning and when it was all said and done, we did it again. This went on for a few weeks before we would start our flight training and I swear to you the only reason I was able to keep my legs moving was because Jasper stayed close by to push me when I started to slack. Alice, my sister, wrote to me all the time telling me how things were back home. I confessed to her about Bella and asked her to look her up for me. She seemed a little hesitant at first, so I didn't think that she would do it, when she reported back that she had found nothing I was happy that she actually tried, but devastated that she didn't come back with anything useful.

Jasper had developed a secret crush on her, they had never spoken or even written to each other, but I had caught him one time staring at a picture of her, and he sure as hell asked me a lot of questions. It wasn't until about three weeks into training when Jasper and I were just starting our flight training that I had received the worst news possible. My parents Elizabeth and Edward Mason Sr. had died in a car crash. Because of where I was at I did not get to attend the funeral and pay my respects and of all things, I found out through letter because they would not let Alice call me.

I got into my first fight that day, Jasper's room mate Michael smart mouthed something about my family and I lunged at him. I was blind with anger and rage, Jasper pulled me off and I was sent to the infirmary to have my bleeding knuckles looked at. That's where Jasper and I met Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He didn't appear to be older than his late twenties; he had blonde hair and golden colored eyes. His skin was a soft translucent pale color that made me wonder if he was sick. When he held my hand to inspect it I felt a chill, he joked about it and confirmed what used to be a myth to me about doctors and there irritably cold hands.

Jasper also seemed to take to the doctor quite well and we became friends from that point on. I cannot really say that I made any other friends, but I did have several acquaintances throughout this hell hole. No one but Alice knew of my encounter with the beautiful Bella though, and I still planned on keeping it that way, it wasn't that I was ashamed of her, almost the exact opposite. I just didn't want people to think that I was crazy and lock me up…at least not until I found her.


	4. Assignments

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and she is oh so very awesome for letting me play with them. Thank you.**

**Assignments**

"Knock Knock, anyone home in here?"

"OH, hey Jasper…what's up man?"

"Oh the usual, did you hear…we are pulling out of the war?"

"So, what does that mean for us?"

"It means that we get to help bring troops home I guess, I don't know we should find out our assignments soon."

"Oh well, I guess that's cool. Alice will be happy to hear that."

"Will she? Speaking of your sister Alice, is she coming today for the family visits?"

"Yes, I am supposed to be meeting up with her in a few minutes, why?"

"I thought I might tag along, meet her and hang out with you guys."

"Isn't your family coming to see you?"

"Yea right, like they would give a shit man."

I shrugged my shoulders at Jasper and stood up taking a long drawn out stretch before being smacked in the stomach with a pillow by Jasper. I didn't mind him coming to hang out with Alice and I, especially if his family didn't give a shit to come and see him when they had the chance. I just hoped that he didn't hit on my sister too hard, he was a good guy, but she had a way with being not so polite to guys when she met them…who knows maybe they'd hit it off.

A Private came to my room. Jasper had left the door wide open for anyone who wanted to walk by. He approached with light steps and handed papers over to Jasper and I, we didn't really speak to the guy, normally they carried bad news but these papers didn't seem that offensive. I glanced down at them and realized that this was my first assignment and I was to fly Dr. Cullen over hostile territory to pick up some troops and bring them back. It sounded pretty simple if you ask me. Jasper shrugged his shoulders and plopped down on the bed next to me.

"Finally we get to go do something. So when do you think they'll call the cease fire?"

"I have no idea how this stuff works man, I just do as I am told."

"Huh…I guess that's all we can do then."

He laid back with his arms folded behind his head on my bed and began whistling a tune that sent an eerie chill down my spine. It was the same tune that Bella had been whistling the night I met up with her for dinner. The only night I had her beauty in my presence. I stuffed the papers in my dresser drawer and walked towards the door, with a wave of my hand Jasper stood up to join me.

"So Jasper, you never told me you listened to classical music."

"I don't."

"But you were just humming Claire De Lune."

"Is that what that was? I thought I made it up, it just kind of came to me."

We had reached the outside doors so I pushed them open letting the warmth of the sunlight cascade over my face and blind me temporarily. We walked the long white side walk next to the perfectly manicured grass towards the quarters where visitors where allowed to sit and wait for us. Civilians were not fully allowed to all areas on base, especially when training was going on. Alice will probably be disappointed that she cannot see my room and redecorate.

"Hey boys, are you heading to meet your family?"

I smiled at Dr. Cullen as he met up with us on an adjoining side walk and began to keep a light paced walk along the side of Jasper and I. He was much like a father figure to me now; he had even been one of the main people that I would talk to when I was going through my hardest time due to losing my mother and father. His father was a very religious man leaving him also a very religious man, the things he knew would take any normal person centuries to learn. He sometimes spoke about revolution and wars like he himself had lived through them.

"Actually, Jasper and I are on our way to meet up with my sister Alice. Is your family visiting you today?"

"Yes, my two children and my wife."

"That's cool, what are their names again?"

"Rose and Emmett, they are adopted and my wife Esme."

He had a blinding white smile that sparkled in his eyes slightly reminding me of Bella yet again. I could not get her out of my mind, it had been two almost three months and I could still picture her long brown hair flowing around her naked body every time I closed my eyes. I couldn't wait to find her, and something told me deep in my gut that I would come across her again.

Jasper and Dr. Cullen had maintained a subtle friendly conversation about family the entire walk, once we reached the big metal double doors we parted ways but not before promising to meet his family, and for him to meet Alice. There was no doubt in my mind that she wouldn't almost immediately fall in love with Dr. Cullen, I do not think that there really is a woman on base who has proclaimed their undying love for him. Esme must feel like a lucky woman, but Alice wouldn't love him for those reasons. I had told her through our letters about how much Dr. Cullen had been a help to me while I am here and for that she seemed grateful to him in her letters. Though, I had never really relayed that message.

"Oh my god, there you are! What did they do to your hair? When's the last time you had it cut right? It looks like they butchered it when you first got here? Look at this mess; you have hair sticking out in every direction!"

"Alice, calm down, I have been sneaking around avoiding a haircut. So has Jasper…oh by the way…Alice this is Jasper Whitlock."

Alice stopped bouncing and peered around me to get a better look at Jasper who for some odd reason was standing shyly behind me. It was freakishly strange how calm she became just by seeing him. I would need to bring him around with me more often. Jasper stepped around me and shook Alice's hand, I felt really out of place as they stared at each other in what looked like amazement, was that how I looked when I first met Bella?

I rolled my eyes and took a seat on one of the military issued metal benches waiting for them to even notice I was still here. Jasper whispered something to Alice, she whispered something back and then giggled. I cleared my throat twice before I was even acknowledged. Alice took a seat next to me and Jasper immediately flanked to her side, I was going to need to have the brother to boyfriend talk with him soon…I could feel it coming and I guess it's better if I just get over with, even if they don't have anything official going on.

"Gah Edward, it feels like it's been forever!"

"I missed you too Alice."

"I would have brought you some things from the house but I didn't know if you could take anything with you."

"It's ok, how are things back at home?"

"Stressful, like I told you in the letter, we've lost the house but I was able to secure an apartment with some of the insurance money until I can find a job, the money your sending me really does help out a lot."

"I wish I could be there to take care of you."

"Oh don't worry about me, I am managing. I still haven't found anything out about that Bella chick for you."

"Who is Bella?"

Jasper turned his head sharply at me with a quizzical look in his eyes. I had not yet told him or Dr. Cullen about Bella and I had forgotten to tell Alice to keep her mouth shut on the topic around them, oh well what's done is done right?"

"Jasper, she is a girl I met before I came here…I have been looking for her."

"Oh, and you didn't tell me you guys lost your house…anything I can do to help out?"

Alice leaned a little closer to him and even I must admit that they would make an attractive couple, too bad I had a pretty strict friends don't date sisters policy. I guess it wouldn't hurt too much to let them flirt a little as long as he kept his hands to himself.

"All I need help with Jasper; is keeping my brother in line and making sure he comes home safe, although I am sure he'll survive this place."

She smiled at me and nudged my shoulder with her index finger, I smiled back at her and shook my head; she was something else. I watched as her gaze drifted over the tables and the plain white walls where 'Be all you can be' posters littered. The administrative people were not much for decorating, especially not to my little sisters standards.

"What are you looking for Alice?"

She looked at me and shrugged her shoulders before taking another look around the old building familiarizing herself with the area like she would be coming to see me here often. I didn't plan on being here very long, which brought my attention to the orders we had received this morning.

"Hey Alice, I finally got some orders. I cannot tell you the details, but I promise to write or call as soon as I get back."

"Why can't you tell me the details?"

"Because it's classified."

"But, I am your sister."

"The army doesn't care that you are my sister."

"That does not seem very fair, what if something happens?"

"Nothing will happen…it seems like a pretty simple mission."

"Nothing is simple when war is involved Edward."

"Jasper, help me out here? Tell her there is nothing to worry about."

Jasper turned his head in my direction and smirked, what was that about? He picked up one of Alice's hands in his and laid his southern accent on thick. Is he thinking that I gave him permission to touch my sister? I grumbled to myself as he promised Alice to take care of me and personally escort me back home when we got out of here, he just wanted to see her again. It had nothing to do with me making it home safe. I rolled my eyes and held back the urge to act childish and making gagging noises when she responded to him shamelessly flirting with her.

"Alice there is nothing to worry about. I promise to bring him back alive."

I stifled an argument over who would be bringing who back alive. I was faster than he was and I have proven to be smarter; he had tactics down and was able to manipulate a room with just blinking. I say, we'd keep each other alive, but no… to save face in front of my little sister he had to go and act all high and mighty. Jasper is lucky I think of him like a brother or we would have problems.

"Edward…Jasper; there you are! This is my family."

I turned my head around as Jasper and Alice looked from each other past me. I knew the voice; it was Carlisle and standing next to him was a tall statuesque blonde wearing a fierce scowl; this had to be Rosalie although I did picture her looking a little bit more pleasant but the apple obviously fell far from the tree.

Next to her with his arm wrapped around her waist stood a tall large man. He had dimples the size of craters and short curly brown hair. The entire family had those same golden looking eyes and pale skin, and being that Carlisle said he adopted I wondered how long it took him and his wife to find children with the same eyes.

"This is my wife Esme."

A woman with shoulder length red hair stepped out from behind the rest of the family, her smile was blinding as she extended her hand in greeting. I could see Alice's smile and Jasper slight nod of recognition from the corner of my eye as I took Esme's hand and shook it lightly. Her fingers were just as cold as Carlisle's and I knew she wasn't a doctor but a stay at home mother.

"Poor circulation?"

She quirked an eye brow as the big kid next to her shook with laughter that he was holding back. The girl I assume to be Rosalie slapped him in his stomach and the laughter stopped.

"No dear, I'm just naturally cold all of the time."

Now it was Jasper's turn to laugh on my behalf but I didn't care I was genuinely curious in anything that could or would remind me of Bella. The larger man leaned over and whispered into Rosalie's ear as she peered down at me and forced a fake smile. What was with this chick?

"I'm Alice, Edward's sister…it's nice to meet you."

Alice stood up with Jasper quick on her heels and moved in front of Carlisle extending her dainty little hand, I watched as Carlisle took in her tiny presence and shook her hand shortly before releasing it and pointing to the rest of his family.

"This is my adopted children, Rosalie and Emmett."

Emmett, the name fit the over grown grizzly bear well, he smiled at Jasper a very knowing yet playful smile before nodding his head politely. Rosalie didn't offer a comment until she noticed my sister's shoes. To which she only commented that she liked them under her breath.

"You two look awfully close for brother and sister."

I noticed it, but it took Jasper to point it out; and I'm almost positive with the way he was standing next to Alice that he wouldn't have said anything if Rosalie hadn't been looking at Alice the way she was.

"We're not blood related, and we are old enough to make our own decisions."

"So you two are a couple?"

_Oh come on…Jasper just drop it_. I sighed mentally and shook my head offering Carlisle the most polite frown I could at Jasper's behavior. Emmett shrugged his shoulders but I could see the smile that played at the corners of his mouth. He must have been through this line of questioning more than once because no one in the family seemed to be concerned or offended at Jasper's rude behavior. But then again, no one seemed apologetic for Rosalie's behavior, what kinds of people see this stuff as normal?

"Well, time's almost up…we really must be going…it was lovely to meet you Edward."

Esme gave a gentle wave of her hand as Carlisle wrapped his arm around her and the family left. Chit chatting time was just about over and after that awkward introduction I was kind of relieved. I waited for everyone to walk away and Jasper and Alice to sit back down to let my real mood show.

"Dude, what's wrong with you?"

"What are you talking about? Tell me that those two being brother and sister and lovey dovey wasn't weird man."

"I'm not saying it wasn't weird. I'm saying it's not our business to question Carlisle's family…that was rude man."

"That chick was a bitch dude."

"No shit? Well you were being an ass."

Jasper rolled his eyes and tucked a stray strand of his blonde hair behind his ear. Alice sat quietly staring off into space before she turned and looked at me with a smile on her face.

"Oh leave him alone Edward; we'll get along better someday."

There she goes again with that cryptic 'I know the future' crap. Now all I needed was too find out that vampires and werewolves existed and my strange life would be complete.

"How much visiting time do we have left?"

"Not long Alice, they'll be ringing the bell soon and we'll be taking off. I'll call you when we get back to the states."

"It's going to change you."

"What's going to change me being stuck with Jasper on a long ass flight or apologizing to Carlisle the whole way for Jasper's behavior? I never really took up groveling as a profession."

"No Edward, shut up. Going over there, something's going to change you."

"Alice, nothing is going to happen…we'll be fine and home safe. I promise I will call you."

"You always just push me aside Edward and I don't like it."

"I'm not brushing you off Alice, I will call you I promise, and could you keep looking for Bella?"

"Sure whatever."

"I love you little sister."

"You're not that much older than me Edward."

The bell rang sounding the ending of our time to visit and the beginning of our first mission. I stood up and pulled Alice into a tight hug before setting her down on her feet and turning to leave. I said good bye, but I wasn't planning on sticking around to see Jasper in his last moments of ogling my sister. That was not going to help me gather my focus and get my head in the game.


	5. Take Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and she is oh so very awesome for letting me play with them. Thank you.**

**Take me**

"Dude, are you still not talking to me?"

I looked over at Jasper and half grinned at him. Of course I was still not talking to him. I had barely made it out of the room before I saw him kissing my sister good bye in the dining hall while the other troops watched them…it was disgusting and they had just fucking met.

"Dude, how many times to I have to you…she kissed me, I didn't start anything."

I looked at him again before dragging my eyes over to the helicopter where Carlisle stood waiting for us. Several bags of medical instruments were being loaded as he moved his finger around pointing where he would need the supplies.

"Hello Carlisle."

"Edward..." Carlisle gave me a swift nod of his head to say hello and then turned his attention to Jasper,"…Jasper is he still not talking to you?"

"I can't get him to say a word."

I didn't even know that Carlisle knew about the kiss…so literally the entire base probably thought my sister was a hussy. I wasn't letting Jasper near anyone in my family again.

"Alright boys, we're loaded up; let's get this show on the road."

I nodded my head in Carlisle's direction and adjusted the green bag on my back pulling the helmet from the side of it and adjusting the straps so that it would fit my head better. The military issued sun glasses were cheap and reminded me of the one's that the motorcycle law officers would where. I felt like a sheep amongst others but knew better. I was different which was the reason my only friends here were Carlisle and Jasper; even though Jasper was low on the list right about now, he was still a friend.

I placed my hand on the cool metal of the helicopter and lifted myself into the pilot's seat. With a flick on my wrist the engines started to purr and the propellers began to hum over head. It was a relaxing sound as I adjusted the harnesses around me and relaxed into my seat slipping my glasses over my eyes and waiting for Carlisle and Jasper to climb in with me.

The sound of Jasper's side door sliding closed brought my focus to him as he lifted a finger and twirled it in the air signaling that we were ready for takeoff. It was now just me and the sky; hopefully the silence too, I was still not ready to talk to him about kissing my sister.

The sun was high in the afternoon sun as we lifted off into the clouds, it didn't take long for us to be flying over water where we would land soon with the Navy and be carted the way overseas to our destination.

"So how long are you going to play the silent game man?"

I looked at Jasper and then back at Carlisle who was smirking knowingly between the two of us; I thought to myself however long it takes but takes to do what? He wasn't going to apologize for kissing her and I think that it would actually make me mad if he did apologize for kissing her, I didn't know what I expected or wanted from him except a little silence; which I was obviously not getting from him.

"Jesus Jasper; what do you want me to say? You were practically making out with my sister and you just met her."

"Man, I told you…she kissed me; I like her so I wasn't going to push her away."

"You should have."

"Why?"

"Because you don't know her and if you hurt her I'll have to kill you."

Jasper laughed out right at that statement like he expected the brother to new boyfriend threat. Carlisle leaned forward towards our seats and looked between us again; his gold eyes were blazing.

"You two fight like brothers."

"He kissed my sister!"

Carlisle chuckled again and leaned back into his seat, this was going to be the longest flight in history, but I didn't expect anything less. My life had become a crazy mess ever since I climbed into my car and started the drive towards this place. It started with the beautiful woman of my dreams who I am not completely sure yet even exist to meeting Jasper and being accused of doing drugs to befriending him and Carlisle to my parents dying and Jasper kissing my sister. There were more problems than answers if you really want my opinion in the matter.

Once again, silence over took the rest of the flight; even when we landed with the Navy a few short hours later we all stayed quiet. I climbed out of the helicopter and stretched with Carlisle while Jasper took the initiative to take a nap mumbling something along the lines of preparing to stay awake all night. I don't know about him but my adrenaline was pumped and ready to go, I couldn't sleep if I wanted to right now.

"You're not going to take a nap with Jasper?"

"I couldn't sleep if I wanted to right now Carlisle. What about you, worried you might get tired in the field?"

"I have been doing this for so long I don't get tired."

"That must be nice, and umm I'm sorry about Jasper interrogating Rosalie and Emmett earlier."

"No worries, they're used to it as I am sure you could already tell. You know I've noticed that you pick up on what people are thinking easily. You are very intuitive Edward."

"If you think I'm intuitive you should have talked to my sister more, she swears that she can see the future."

I chuckled at my own comment as Carlisle smiled at me, I had a creepy chill run over my body as the wind from the ocean picked up its pace and blew through my hair. I rubbed my hands together and walked close to the deck to watch the waves rumble against the boat. How did anyone sleep on this noisy thing anyways?

"I'm going to take a walk around the boat Edward; would you like to join me?"

"Umm, no thanks man; I think I'll just stay here until we leave. Could you pick me up something to eat from the commissary?"

"Sure, do you want anything in particular?"

"No just grab something for me and Jasper when he wakes up if you don't mind."

"I'll be back."

"Alright man."

I sighed as I turned back to the waves watching the water turn and chop and swirl beneath me. I barely even heard his steps as he left, he was always light on his feet and quiet when he approached.

I pressed my elbows into the hand rail of the ship and leaned closer to look at the water. It was like looking up at the clouds and allowing your mind to create images of something that wasn't there, but the only image my mind would create was Bella. Her face was all around me swirling at my feet beckoning me to join her.

Hours turned into minutes and minutes turned into seconds as I stared out at the open waves rushing against the boat as we moved forward towards a location I had soon forgotten. What was wrong with me? I couldn't focus when my attention was brought to Bella; she was the ultimate drug an addiction that I couldn't get my mind away from.

"Hey man, you ready?"

My head jerked back from side of the boat smacking something very hard and very firm with a crack. I spun around to see Jasper bent over holding tightly to his nose with a look of pure anger.

"Oh shit man, sorry…you scared the crap out of me."

"Well, if you would have been paying fucking attention five minutes ago when I was calling your fucking name I wouldn't have had to walk over here to get your ass. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I reached out with one hand and placed it on his shoulder to try and get a better look at the damage done to his nose but he swatted my hand away quickly. I swear it was an accident. Carlisle came running over and with the cool and ease that he had always held within the infirmary he pulled Jasper to stand up straight and leant his head back to look at the damage.

"Jasper, it's not broken…just a little blood. You'll be ok."

Jasper snorted and pulled a rag out of his back pocket and placed it over his nose before turning and walking back to the helicopter. Carlisle looked at me with humor in his eyes as I shrugged my shoulders murmuring that it was his fault and not my own, he shouldn't have been standing so damn close to me.

I followed behind Carlisle back to the helicopter just as the other troops were done refueling it; they back away as another soldier stepped up to guide us off of the ship safely. I'd hate to have his job; what if the pilot had no idea what they were doing and hit him?

I looked over to Jasper who still wore a scowl on his face, his left eye was already starting to bruise slightly from the impact and would be very noticeable by morning due to his pale skin and light features.

The sun was wavering on the tips of the water waiting to go down as I pulled up on the gears sending the helicopter back into the sky. We would be at our location in a few hours and again an angry silence had taken over the cab between Jasper and I.

The hum of the propellers above us was as steady as a heart beat slowing down in my ear drums to pick back up when our destination came into focus. The jungle was thick with trees lining the shore side extending for miles. I could feel the evening humidity clinging to my clothes even as we remained above tree level hovering for our targets.

"Weren't they supposed to be on the beach already?"

Jasper looked at me and then back to Carlisle with an excited look, knowing that if these people were our mission then we were going to have to land and search them out to bring them back home. I sighed quickly as I moved the helicopter around the island looking for the quietest safest place to land.

"Carlisle, when we land stay with the helicopter; Jasper and I will go look for them…there are a few guns in the back in case you need to defend yourself; but this area looks fairly calm."

Carlisle shrugged his shoulder sliding his jackets off of him to land on the floor with a soft swish of air. His movements were precise as he pulled out various instruments and devices that I had no clue how to use, but was interested someday in learning about.

"Don't worry about me boys, I'll be fine."

There was a mischievous glint in his golden eyes as he turned towards Jasper and I to wave us off. I unfastened my harness and reached around the seat to pick up the standard military issued riffle. Jasper had already jumped out of the helicopter had his rifle loaded and was eager to start the search by time I placed my foot down on the soil.

I waved to Carlisle and met Jasper at the forest's edge; his eyes were locked on the darkness ahead of us and attention was played heavily on his rifle. He figure slumped slightly as he began to walk forward into the woods.

Mosquitoes buzzed around us biting where they could find flesh and then flying away with full stomachs. A crunch of dirt and leaves beneath us was the only sound until Jasper dropped to his knees signaling for me to join him. We had been in the woods for at least two hours walking silently, he was either still mad about the black eye and bloody nose or he was really serious about following war protocol. I didn't care either which way, the silence was nice and allowed my mind to drift off when necessary.

Jasper's hand moved slowly up his mouth where he placed one finger over his lips and then pointed towards a clearing. A faint glow of a lantern told us that someone was there; the question now was whether or not they were friendlies.

I hovered above the ground mimicking Jasper's position as we began a slow crawl on the ground towards the light. I felt like a bug whose only warning was to stay away from the warm glow that beckoned me to follow.

The soft click of a safety release told me that we were no longer alone. I felt the cool steel of a barrel pointed on the back of my neck and watched as Jasper barely turned his head to look at me before setting his gun down and raising his arms in the air.

It was way too soon to become a prisoner of war; and I made a promise to my sister to return home safely, with Jasper in tow. We stared at each other for a moment through the corner of our eyes gazing the reactions of fear and anger…but I never once saw regret in his eyes.

Gun shots fired off in the distance and Jasper moved, it was so quick and so sudden that I didn't have time to react with him; did I miss some sort of secret coded message in his eyes?

He flipped over and grabbed the gun that was pointed at him while the other person began speaking in another language; a shot was fired as I flipped over to do the same positioning myself to get the gun off of my back.

My attacker was dark skinned and had raven black hair that was slicked down under his helmet. Paint covered his face and a surprised look of defiance crossed his eyes. I didn't have time to look at him clearly when the gun that Jasper had diverted from him fired again laying my attacker out and splattering blood over my clothes and arms.

I was stunned for a second but quickly grabbed the gun and turned to point it at Jasper's attacker. I was too late when the third fire went off hitting Jasper in the chest. A moan came from him as his eyes began to drop and his fingers went loose. I fired one shot quickly as the man with fire in his eyes shot at me hitting me in the arm.

I killed him, he dropped to the ground and I laid there shocked to be alive and scared for the condition that Jasper was in. A thrumming pain in my arm told me that I had been shot, but sheer determination put me back on my knees as I quickly brought Jasper up with me. He was dead weight as I began dragging him with me to make our way back to where Carlisle could help. I wasn't going to leave him here and I had a few hours hike back to the helicopter.

"Hang on Jasper, I'll get us help soon."


	6. Slow Burn

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and she is oh so very awesome for letting me play with them. Thank you.**

**Slow Burn**

My legs felt heavy and blood dripped down my arm and pooled at the tip of my boot. I couldn't tell you if it was mine or Jasper's but I could see the beach from where I stood. I had not ever heard of someone dying from blood loss to the arm; but I had lost a lot and I felt fatigue from carrying Jasper over the terrain. My legs felt shaky and my heart was pounding in my ears.

There was movement up ahead but everything seemed to blur and create a haze of double, maybe even triple vision as my legs finally gave out and I collapsed into a sea of blackness. I had kept my promise; I got myself and Jasper hopefully to someone who could help us.

_It'll be ok Edward; just relax._

I tried to open my eyes as I heard my angel's voice calling to me. I knew I was losing my mind, possibly dehydrated, maybe even lost way too much blood and exhausted, but I would rather be that way right now and hear her sweet voice than to be listening to my own inner monologue.

I felt the brush of wind around me as my body was levitated but I was too weak to respond to whoever it was with more than a slight tap of my hand. My eyes squinted and dropped every time I tried to open them. My legs felt heavy even as it was someone else carrying me and then there were two thuds on a metal ground. I assume Jasper and I was placed in the helicopter…but had no idea by who.

_Until we meet again. _

There was a faint hum in the background followed by high speed whispers and the occasional growl. I hoped that we weren't being attacked by animals but knew that there was nothing I or Jasper could do at the moment. We were so eager to get our first mission…and so quick to get into trouble. Was this what Alice was talking about? Was this what was going to change me?

My mind was racing as I tried to speak but only heard a soft moan come from lips before my body was lifted and again I was being carried away. I cracked an eye lid to see the trees running past me and the sky flashing between the limbs. My mind must have been playing games on me because there was no way I was moving that fast without being in a plane right now. And as I was sure of the thumps of steps on the ground I was sure that I was not flying.

A musical sounding muffled voice responded after a quiet knock on what I assume to be door opened. The air smelled of smoke and incense as I was placed on a hard cold surface and then a searing pain shot through my entire body. I felt myself jerk but there was a pressure holding me down.

The fire inside me spread and I thought that this must be what it was like to descend to hell; I was burning and felt the echo of my screams for mercy penetrate through the inclosing walls around me. My heart beat was so loud it was almost deafening as it weakened to slow a steady thump.

My mouth felt dry as the assault continued inside me; I tried to relax myself as much as possible but felt the flinches as each flame licked its way through my veins. Questions of what or how ran through my mind, but I could decide on what was happening to me. Some sort of torture? Why couldn't I just die…?

_You are._

"They'll both be coming around in a few hours."

"How do you know?"

I recognized Carlisle's voice immediately, but it was intensified and clear as ringing bells on a Sunday morning. The second voice was a deep woman's voice and carried a hint of laughter behind it. Where in the world was I? I could feel the burning licking its way through my chest but I was growing used to the intense heat. How long had I been laying here burning? And if I was dying as my angel had told me…why wasn't I dead already?

The voices drifted off as another searing pain tore through my body burning what was left of my soul. I felt my heart give one last beat and figured that this was it; this was what death felt like. But I wasn't dead, why wasn't I dead?

I first tried to move my finger tips then my toes and then as if the thought simply traveled from brain to my legs I jerked up and flew against a wall with speed that I didn't know I was capable of. I opened my eyes to see a very large black woman standing before me with her hair in braids and her large eyes smiling.

I didn't speak but turned my head and noticed Jasper lying down on the floor with blood still splattered over his military issued uniform. His fingers twitched and then his head turned, blood red eyes peered at me and my head shot around again finding Carlisle calm and taking in the room around him.

Every thing was clearer than I had seen before; specks of dust floated around me before settling on the ground at my feet and I wondered if my eyes looked like Jasper's did.

_They must be so confused._

"Confused about what? What are we confused about?"

My hand shot to my throat when I heard my own voice. It was different; I couldn't put my finger on it…but I was sure it was different. Jasper noticed the change to as his body shot up and a growl escaped his lips.

_They need to feed._

"Carlisle what are you talking about?!?"

Carlisle's eyes widened as he took a hesitant step closer to me; I felt an involuntary growl escape my lips as I glanced again at Jasper's hunched over form. He wasn't breathing but I could hear him speaking to himself.

"Could everyone please stop talking at once?"

Everyone looked at me as if I was stupid and then suddenly I felt very angry, and frustrated, and confused. Waves of emotions slammed into me making me feel weak and yet strong at the same time. I felt as if I could bend metal with my bare hands.

_What the fuck is he talking about, what's wrong with me?_

_I think he can read minds._

_Why did Carlisle bring them here? _

_I need to get them to feed._

_Why isn't anyone talking?_

_What the fuck is wrong with me? _

_Jasper has a gift to._

"_Stop! All of you just stop! Please be quiet!" _

I dropped to my knees and my hands moved to my hair grasping the temples of my head and holding it tightly; even my hair felt different between my finger tips as a sudden wave of calm hit me from no where.

_Edward, can you hear me? _

"Of course I can hear you; none of you will shut up for a damn second!"

"Edward, I wasn't talking out loud…none of us are actually."

I looked up at Carlisle and over to Jasper who had concern and fear written across his face. Judging from his stance he wanted to move to me, but his feet were glued to the floor in confusion.

"I didn't know you both would have gifts. I'm sorry; it was the only way to save you."

"Carlisle, what are you talking about."

"This is going to take a long time to explain…but you both need to feed. Please follow me and my friend Zafrina and then all will be explained."

The waves of calm stopped and I looked over to Jasper who didn't know what to do; what was to explain…what did he have to do to save us? Why the fuck wont anyone shut up and yet as I look at there mouths I could see the creases in the frowns but none of them were opening. What the hell kind of gift would make that happen?

_You can hear me? _

I looked over to Jasper as his curious gaze locked onto mine and I nodded my head yes. I watched the muscles in his neck as his head turned slightly and his eye brows scrunched together.

He took a very fast step in my direction and then stopped moving completely; it was like watching a child take it's first hesitant steps; those his thoughts were jumbled the confusion and questions were starting to clear up and he was just as confused with how fast that step was as I was. He looked down at his feet and then back to me as I shot him a weary glance. Then both of our heads turned to Carlisle who promised answers once we 'fed'.

"Where are we going?"

"Just follow me and Zafrina…we'll talk on the way."

I nodded my head as Jasper's thoughts agreed with my own; we didn't have a choice…we never had a choice and there was no use fighting whatever it was Carlisle needed to tell us, we simply had no choice in the matter.


	7. Monster

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and she is oh so very awesome for letting me play with them. Thank you.**

Top of Form

**Monster **

"_Life is just a chance to grow a soul" ~ A. Powell Davies_

It's been thirty years since Jasper and I followed Carlisle and Zafrina into the woods. My life as I knew shattered into a million different pieces when he told me what I was…what I had become. I hated him for it at first, Jasper was happy to live, but I would have preferred to die with a soul than to live without one. I was a monster fighting the temptation to kill humans while feeding on the life of animals.

I couldn't understand how easily Jasper adapted, not that it's any easier for him to feed off of animals than off of humans, but he adapted well to being a monster. My sister Alice found us within a few years. She never stopped looking, and I was surprised that she wasn't frightened by what she found. I couldn't deny her anything and had been sending her money which she traced to a small rainy town that we were currently staying in.

I couldn't blame Jasper for her change, she showed up out of the blue and we both had not fed in a very long time. Testing our limits was not wise; but it was a must in order to develop strength to exist somewhat normally amongst the humans. Alice was attacked by Jasper, but something in him made him stop as I stood horrified at the scene that was unfolding before me.

Alice joined our family without questions, her thoughts lingered along the lines of…as long as she was with Jasper and I. I didn't at first understand why Jasper would have anything to do with her want to stay and be a monster. Years later they were married and her line of thinking began to make sense to me; she knew she was supposed to be with him…her precognition from her human life carried over into this existence and she could see the future now, and within her future she couldn't see a moment without the both of us.

Alice's visions were subjective to the decisions made around her, but they were helpful in avoiding humans right now, there were three of us now still learning to adjust getting better at it, but occasionally finding the temptations hard to resist.

Jasper had a gift of his own that later made more sense to the nauseating confusion I felt when I first woke up with my new eyes. The out of controlled frenzy that burned within me also burned within him but he was projecting what he was feeling across the room, making my hunger worse, my confusion worse, and my anger that much more worse.

Jasper could control emotions and he could project emotions, lately he's been working on projecting calm around me and Alice as we made smaller attempts at being closer to the human world. He helped us control the frenzy as he fought his own using a bubble of calm to take a breath and hold in the scent of a human. Everything around us floating in the world was a test right now.

Carlisle's family was kind enough at first, Rosalie was very resentful of Jasper and I; but Emmett was an over grown child who helped a lot with coping with what we were. He had actually told me that being a vampire wasn't so bad, he looked at things as a chance to grow and experience history as opposed to read about it in a book. I envied Emmett for the way he always saw the glass as half full; which was odd that he was married to Rosalie who saw the negative side of most things before the positive; she was vain and held beauty above brains. They were polar opposites that helped to keep each other in line with the reality of the world.

Esme and Carlisle acted as the mother and father for other intents and purposes. The humans believed that we were home schooled for the most part, to appear as normal as possible we occasionally were spotted at the malls or shopping markets buying clothes or food we didn't need.

I had lost a lot of memories of my human life when I was brought into this vampire existence but a few things stayed with me the most important and haunting memory would be of my mysterious yet beautiful Bella. Even the whisper of her name on my mind left chills over my body. I had continued my search but found it almost pointless, she could never love a monster…and who was I to blame her?

I currently sat at my piano playing her song over and over in the dimness of the sitting room. The rest of the family was either out hunting, at work in Carlisle's case or finding other means to occupy their time. Carlisle had disappeared within the war that we died in; he made sure that paper work and everything was taken care of. Alice received my medals and an American flag at my funeral. I asked her once why she didn't stop looking for me then and her answer was sure and absolute, she simply didn't believe it.

I wished that my beliefs were strong enough to push me the way they did her, but I'm sure it helped knowing what was going to happen before it happened anyways. I pulled my fingers idly over the keys applying only the smallest amount of pressure before turning on the bench to wait for Alice and Jasper; her thoughts were close by with the intentions of speaking to me.

"Why do I see you leaving?"

I dropped my gaze to the ground. How do you answer that question? I had tried to keep the decision to leave at bay, but it was growing stronger in my mind to take off for a little while, nothing permanent. I was surrounded by couples and love and family, but I felt out caste by the same things that made most people happy. The only woman I could ever love or feel a connection with probably didn't exist which made watching them all even more miserable for me.

"Edward, things will get better…don't leave."

I looked up at Alice again, Jasper had been standing behind her studying my emotions probably…his stare was curious as his stance was stiff and protective. He didn't know how else to be around Alice, and as they have been married and in love for years now, he still felt guilty for being the reason she was a monster like the rest of us.

"We're thinking about moving, the whole family is…maybe try going to high school; stay Edward. We'll need you."

Her voice was pleading but I was still indecisive in the matter. I shrugged my shoulders and turned back to the piano where my fingers once again graced the keys in my most haunting yet beautiful piece yet. It was her song; though I wish I could play it for her…I'm sure it would never happen.

"Alice, I will stay for right now, but I can't make you any promises."

"I know, I'm not asking for a promise, I would like you there though."

I smiled slightly at her as she took a seat on the piano bench next to me, Jasper moved closely behind her as her fingers moved over the keys next to mine. I didn't know where I would be if she didn't end up with us, and I felt selfish for even saying that. She deserved a soul, and unlike half of this family that believed we still had a chance at a soul; I knew I had lost mine and I didn't see any hope in redeeming it.

"This tune deserves a subtle happier side."

Alice moved her fingers back over the keys as I continued to play, her sweet melodious voice hummed softly as she changed the tune slightly, she was adding a joyfulness to the sound that didn't presently belong, I wouldn't hold it against her and as long as it was making her feel somewhat happy about who she was or where we were at…I would let her play it.

_Edward, can I talk to you alone for a minute._

I nodded my head slowly up and down for Jasper before scooting over and letting Alice take control of the melody completely. I stood up and straightened my shirt before walking briskly outside where the sun was hidden deep behind a thick layer of clouds.

_You're not happy. _

"You know Jasper; I used to like it better when you would ask me how I was feeling."

I turned my head and smirked at him as he shrugged his shoulders and leaned against a post that helped to support the awning on the back porch. He crossed his legs at his knees and fiddled with his finger in front of him. It was a comfortable and relaxed position that he would normally take when speaking to me.

"You know Edward; I used to like it when I could think without you knowing my every thought."

"Touché"

I twirled my finger in the air as if it was my own miniature sword and smiled at Jasper while looking at him through the corner of my eye, he had brought me out here to talk about something else…not goof around and I was wondering exactly what it was.

_I don't know if I can do it man. _

"Do what?"

"Play high school."

I formed an 'oh' with my lips and then pressed them firmly together, I didn't know if I could do it either. The change had been easier for me in terms of our diet, but Jasper felt tempted not only be the emotions floating around in the humans but the smell of their blood. He dropped his hands to his side and stood up to come and stand closer to me.

"I just don't want to let Alice down…she thinks we can do this as long as we stick together, and I'm sure it'll be easier with you being around."

"Is that what you are getting to? Look man, I'm not going anywhere right now. I have just been teetering between staying and finding my own happiness…dude you have Alice, Carlisle has Esme and Emmett as unfortunate as it sounds, has Rosalie. What do I have? A figment of my imagination?"

"You could have had that chick Tanya."

"I don't feel anything for her Jasper."

He shrugged his shoulders as his thoughts moved around partial happiness and just plain unhappy I knew what he getting at, but Tanya wouldn't be enough for me; especially not after Bella. I couldn't do that to Tanya or any other expecting female for that matter.

"Look man, I'm not going anywhere…so please just drop it; if I do decide to leave I promise to let you know I won't just leave without any warning."

"That's not how Alice sees it."

"And what does Alice see Jasper?"

"She see's you leaving man, it's not clear and you know it won't be unless you make up your mind."

"So you want me to make up mind to leave so that Alice's vision is clear?"

"No asshole I don't, look we're concerned and just want you to stay around."

"I'm not going anywhere Jasper; I promise if I make the decision I'll discuss it with you and Alice first."

"Couldn't you just decide not to leave at all?"

I looked over at Jasper clearly frustrated at his question to see a smirk on his face. His golden eyes were dancing with humor as he knew which buttons he was pushing and he was doing it intentionally. I rolled my eyes and stood up straighter watching him mimic my position.

"Is there a reason you're bothering me?"

"Someone's got to keep you on your toes man."

I took a step back and looked into the house through the glass door, Alice was still sitting at the piano; her curiosity of other's conversations had dwindled to about nothing being that she could see them before they happened, but I could tell that she was still listening. Her head was tilted slightly in our direction with her black spiky hair falling softly at her shoulders.

"Dude, you married my sister."

"That's old news Edward."

"I think I'm still not used to it."

Jasper chuckled to himself as he moved back into the house shaking his head before reaching the piano and sitting next to a smiling Alice. I stood back watching the way she leaned into him unintentionally while his arm wrapped around her waist. For them it was instinct to love each other, something that came natural and before every other instinct they had.

"Hey, I'm going to go hunt…I'll be back in awhile."

Alice waved her hand for me to leave without even taking a glance at me. Jasper didn't acknowledge me as his hands glided over Alice's brushing the piano keys softly like they would shatter into a million pieces if the smallest amount of pressure was applied on the wrong key.

I turned around and began a brisk run through the backyard and towards the green of the woods. Using the trees as my shelter and dodging brush that laid about the ground I managed to pick up on a herd of deer. There scent reminded me of the herbal gardens that my mother once had in the backyard.

I shifted my body weight to my right leg as I leapt through the air wrapping both of my arms around a male buck and driving my teeth deep into the muzzle allowing the warm substance fill me until the animal was dried of life.

I set the animal back on the ground and rolled my knees placing my hands into the soft earth before leaping back to my feet. I used to wonder why Carlisle didn't ever do anything like donate the fur or meat left in the animal to the needy, but then again; I understood his need to block any suspicions that may arise…like why did we hunt so often? Or the bigger question…of why we were hunting during the off season, I chuckled to myself as I pictured Alice telling an elaborate story of how all of these deer continue to be hit by our cars.

She would come up with something as silly as that and people would believe her. She had a natural talent for bull shitting other people. Although I have noticed that humans tended to believe anything we told them, not because they knew what we were but because they were hypnotized by our very presence. It made things a little awkward when people were falling in love with and didn't have an idea of why. I could hear girls behind Jasper and I in grocery stores creating reasons to love us in their minds. It annoyed me to no end how much they all thought alike.

I circled around quickly grabbing one more buck before deciding that I had my fill for the evening. I didn't want to sit back in the house and watch the others interact with each other, so I ran back through the back yard stopping at the garage on the side of the house and jumping in my car.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I practically jumped as I looked in my rear view mirror and saw Alice leaning back casually in the back seat of my silver Volvo, it wasn't often that a vampire was surprised or scared but Alice had a way of being able to do both.

"Why are you asking a question you already know the answer to?"

"I only know the where Edward, not the why."

"Well you asked me 'where" and not 'why' Alice."

"Ok, well then tell me, why are we about to head to the music store? Don't you have enough music already?"

I started the car up listening to the soft purr of the engine before putting the car in gear and backing out of the drive way. Since she had said 'we' and 'music store' I assumed that meant she felt like tagging along.

"I wanted to just scan through some things…you never know there might be something out that I don't have."

"I can tell you a few albums that you don't have."

"I don't listen to music from the eighties or nineties and you know that."

"You know, the music wasn't that bad then."

"The eighties were horrible; the nineties were the aftershock of the eighties."

Alice sighed as she climbed into the passenger side seat and fiddled with the radio until finding something she didn't mind listening to. Her choice in music wasn't really that bad, we agreed on a lot of things…but there were those moments were I couldn't stand her choice of music and would rather pull my hair out than to listen to that crap.

"Edward, why don't we head to the mall instead of that music store? If we go there we will stand around looking for some nonexistent CD, at least at the mall I can find something to occupy my time with."

"Alice, you don't have to come."

"I know, but I'd rather go with you…just in case; it's better if we travel together anyways."

I sighed as I changed directions towards the mall as opposed to the old family run music store in town. If Alice didn't see me finding anything there maybe there was a possibility of finding something worth listening to at the mall. I was opposed to listening to the many thoughts that crowded the mall, but if she was also trying to get me back into school I'd need to get used to the millions of untamed thoughts anyways. So I was going to look at this as a learning experience.


	8. Move

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and she is oh so very awesome for letting me play with them. Thank you.**

Top of Form

**Move**

All of the women had left a few weeks ago to prepare things at the new house. We were moving to another boring rainy town in the middle of nowhere. Forks, Washington was not going to be one of my favorite places, but it was where Carlisle took a Chief Surgeons position and where the rest of us 'kids' were going to be enrolled into high school.

I wasn't happy about going to high school, but it was high time we packed up and moved to a different location. We weren't taking anything from this house, only the few items that were deemed necessary. Everything else could and would be replaced. Alice promised me that she would have my music collection already in my designated room when I got there. She wasn't normally one to break a promise so I had high hopes to at least salvaging that part of my existence.

Emmett was excited about the new possible hunting possibilities, bears were his favorite and they supposedly hibernated a few minutes run away from the new house. It's all he could think about, which was doing nothing for my resolve, he kept making me hungry.

"Emmett, could you think about something else?"

"No man! I can't wait to get there, dude Rosie said that I could go hunting as soon as I got there."

"Emmett you are such a child sometimes, you know that right?"

Emmett just shrugged his shoulders and lifted another box of Esme's china to load into the Jeep with him. I sighed as Jasper bounced down the stairs and landed next to me. He shook his head at Emmett as Carlisle walked down the stairs with a few of his medical books.

I felt the clap of Jasper's hand over my shoulder as a smile crept upon his face. I looked at him through the corner of my eye as I took a step towards the front door. We were pretty much ready to leave; the girls had taken Rosalie's Mercedes and Carlisle's Mercedes leaving us to drive the Jeep and my Volvo to the new house.

"Hey man, I am riding with you."

I stepped out of the front door and looked at Jasper, I figured he would be riding with me instead of Emmett, they got along great but no one but Carlisle could really stand to be in a vehicle with him for too long; especially when he was as over excited about the move. Jasper would go crazy from his emotions and I would lose my mind from his thoughts.

I nodded my head and briskly walked to my car unlocking the doors so that Jasper could get in. He had this bad habit of changing the radio stations around while we were driving, he'd never let just one song play through its entirety. I needed to make at least one rule if I was going to be stuck in this car with him for a few hours.

"Jasper…dude, do me a favor; if you are going to mess with the radio stations at least let a song play through before you change the station."

"But what if I decide that I don't like the song."

"Then you're going to listen to it."

"You're going to make me listen to a song I may or may not like?"

"You can always ride with Emmett, I'm sure Carlisle won't mind my rule."

"I can't ride with Emmett."

"And why can't you?"

"His emotions man, he's all excited…and not just about bears. It's disgusting."

He didn't need to say anymore, and I really didn't want to tell him that Emmett's only thoughts had really been about bears, and he's completely right that is just disgusting. I wondered if Rosalie knew how bad his bear fetish really was but decided that it was a subject I never planned to touch on.

I put the car into gear and followed Emmett out of the drive way. I knew where we were going, but I decided to follow instead of lead. Things for vampires used to be very territorial, and well from I am told they still are. I didn't want to take a chance on being in someone else's territory breaking some unwritten rule. Carlisle assured me that we would not come across those types of problems that as a species the vampire clans had evolved. I trusted him, but I didn't trust that all vampires would be aware of this new unspoken treaty.

"So man, I am trying to think of a way to surprise Alice, do you have any ideas?"

"If you are thinking of a way to surprise Alice then you have already ruined the surprise. Just give it up man, unless it's spontaneous she knows."

Jasper's lips scrunched up as his thoughts began trailing along ways to spontaneously surprise her, I let out a short chuckle and looked at him, and he couldn't be serious could he?

"Dude, you can't think about ways to be spontaneous…it's still a plan and she'll know."

"Well what the hell am I supposed to do then?"

"Stop trying to surprise Alice maybe? It's pointless she always knows."

Jasper immediately turned the radio up and slumped further into the seat, I could see his eyes watching the passenger side mirror as his thoughts counted the trees we were passing. I sighed and shook my head wondering how high up he would count before he'd give up and start trying to think of a way to surprise my sister again.

With each new city that we moved to and each new town that we passed I wondered if I would ever find that dirt road again that would lead me to Bella. The images were blurry in my mind but even with that flaw she was still perfect.

I reached my hand over to the radio to adjust the volume as Jasper's phone began ringing in his pocket. It didn't take him two seconds to recognize Alice's ring and pick up the phone immediately. He was so whipped by her that it wasn't even funny anymore. I doubted that love could ever make me jump through hoops like that, but then again this was Alice we were talking about…and anyone who knew her jumped through random hoops to keep her happy.

I listened to Jasper has he acknowledged whatever Alice was saying but I couldn't keep up with how fast she was talking through the buzz of his cell phone. It amused me to know end how the average mind functioned with the rest of an individual's body. Alice would obviously say something, then Jasper's mind would think the response; his head or hands would move in acknowledgment seconds before his mouth even uttered the words.

It completely fascinated me to watch other people interact with each other, with my gift it was also for me easily determine how much of the truth someone was holding back in the conversation. A lot of the times information that may be important to other individuals was not exactly deemed important to the person speaking… so they wouldn't even include it in the conversation. It was as if there mind mentally jumped the context when forming the words that it spoke.

"Stop staring at me like that Edward."

I turned my head back to the road in front of me a little embarrassed that I had been caught staring at Jasper. I had already told him about my strange fascination with the way the mind works, and he normally just ignored me but I guess this time I might have been staring a little too long.

"Alice said they ran into some people, she wasn't too sure on what they were exactly, but she said they looked like giant wolves. We all have to sign some kind of treaty saying that we won't go on their land or bite any of the humans in the area."

I chuckled at that, why was Alice or the rest of the girls worried about some dogs? They couldn't be near as strong or as fast as we were…so what was the point in signing some stupid treaty? It's not like I planned on feeding on a human, but the whole idea seemed a bit ridiculous.

"And why are we worried about them?"

"Alice said that there was some girl with them that threatened to expose us for we are if we didn't."

"And how do they know what we are?"

"I don't know man, but I'm a little worried, Alice said that she didn't see them coming…and everyone's future blacked out when they came in contact with them."

"What? That's ridiculous; Carlisle needs to check her head when we get there."

"Look man, I think we should just sign the treaty and ignore it."

"You cannot tell me Jasper that you are not curious as to what these wolves are."

"I'm curious, but it worries Alice."

I rolled my eyes deciding that if Alice was not on board Jasper wasn't going to budge on the topic either. I would need to talk my sister into finding out more information with me in order to get Jasper to play along as well.

We sat in silence the entire rest of the trip to the new house. I would say that I was surprised at how large the house was, but I knew better. Esme had designed the house herself and I had seen the smaller replicas of the house inside her mind, so the large glass windows that covered an entire side of the house and the plush white furniture that decorated the inside wasn't much of a surprise, it was expected.

I walked into the house carrying one of the many boxes of Esme's china and set it down on the kitchen counter. I was curious as to what everyone's thoughts were on the recent encounter they had but no one was thinking about it. I was also fairly certain that this was done on purpose for me and me alone.

"Alice, where are you?"

"Over here Edward!"

I turned around to see Alice standing at the base of the stairwell looking at me curiously. She wasn't smiling but she didn't appear to be sad. I assumed that meant that she was in one of frantic design modes that Esme and Rosalie encouraged.

"What's this I hear about a treaty?"

"Oh the papers are on the dining room table if you could sign them tonight Esme and Carlisle will be taking them over tomorrow."

"Alice, I get the strangest feeling everyone is not thinking about this incident for a reason."

"It's literally all in your head Edward. There's nothing to worry about, we stay away from them…they'll stay away from us."

"Then why are you humming the German alphabet?"

"Because I already know what you are planning and you're not getting anything out of me. Stay away, it's not that hard to do; especially for you…you don't even like new people."

Alice turned on her heal and headed back up the stairs before I could ask her anything else. I stuck my hands in my jeans pockets and decided to take the stairs one step at a time perfecting my 'human' walk in preparation for the mundane tortures of returning to high school.

As I reached the top step I looked down both sides of the long extended hall way hearing my family moving about in their own rooms setting up the usual things, like clothes and beds that would never be slept in. I was about to turn and knock on the door that I heard Alice's voice coming from to ask her which room was mine when she yelled out from her room, "Last door on the right."

It was convenient that she knew what I was going to ask her before I asked her, and saved a lot of my time with having to even ask the question. I noticed the rest of the family's slight annoyance with our silent conversations but figured what did they expect? She was my sister after all. We shared a bond that was permanent and unbreakable on a level that even I didn't think could exist.

I headed into the last door on the right and looked around, the carpet was white. There was no bed because well, I had no reason to have one. In place of a bed was a black leather couch tucked away against one of the windows. Several boxes were left for me to unpack, many of them labeled music. I opened what I assumed to be my closet door and noticed that I didn't recognize any of the clothes in there. I sighed as I muttered Alice's name and closed the closet door.

I began organizing my music on the shelves that littered the room by year, then genre, and then by how much I actually liked them. It was tedious and time consuming which is something I needed to get me through the night. I enjoyed my solitude and often spent time alone hiding in my room reading Carlisle's old medical journals.

I flipped open one of the boxes pulling out the music and setting them all on the floor to be separated after I got the boxes out of my room. It would make things more functional if I at least got the trash out of the way first.

After I had cleared out the first three boxes there was a knock at my door coupled with the thoughts of Alice and Jasper, "Can we come in Edward?"

"If I said no would you come in anyways?"

"Probably."

"Then come in."

I stood up and turned to face the door as Alice danced her way in followed by Jasper. Alice carried a small alarm box that she set up next to my couch and began fiddling with the buttons.

"Alice what do I need an alarm clock for?"

"School silly, I'm setting it for the time that you should start getting dressed…it'll be just like old time Edward."

"Accept you won't be jumping on my bed telling me to get up."

"See to you, it'll be better than old times."

I turned my head to see Jasper smirking at the thought of Alice jumping on a bed and mentally cringed. I glared at him which only made him laugh out loud. He wasn't concerned or worried about what I thought, he had my sister and to him nothing else in the world mattered. Not even my own personal sanity.

"Ok Edward, now I have a feeling that this school year is going to be great for us…all of us. So please dress decent, do you need me to show you how to use your closet?"

"No Alice, I think I can figure out how to dress myself."

Alice shrugged her shoulders as she moved to Jasper's side. His arm wrapped around her shoulders as her hand came up and was gently placed over his stomach. I often wondered if that's how Bella and I would look if we had ever had a chance at a life together.

But I guess that was something I needed to not think about anymore. She probably didn't even exist.


	9. Treaties

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and she is oh so very awesome for letting me play with them. Thank you.**

Top of Form

**Treaties**

**JACOBS POINT OF VIEW**

**Hello my lovelies, I didn't want to leave you hanging on the Treaty signing, and I did want this entire story to be from Edward's point of view. Alas this is something that I will not hold back in the outtakes and just give to you guys now. This is from Jacobs point of view to give everyone a brief history…sorry if not enough is revealed…all in due time. Hope this is a helpful insight into the Treaty Signing. **

**Now go read and review! **

The last five years had been hell on the Quileute's and the people who lived within our borders. We swore to protect them, but none of new exactly how we would protect them and from what. We were just kids when we all started shifting into werewolves. None of us believed the folk tales that our grandfather's and father sat around to discuss during camp fires. To us, it was all just a bunch of crap.

Now, I was a leader of a pack of werewolves. It hurt at first when the change happened but after time and multiple changes I had grown accustomed to switching between my human form and my wolf form. Several of us were deemed the protectors of the tribe. Our genes carried the cell that allowed us to switch, it was involuntary at first…but now we changed at will.

"Hey Jacob, we need to talk."

I turned to look at my father Billy who sat in his wheel chair on the front porch staring down at me as I sat on the bottom of the steps waiting for Bella to show up. She was always late and never had any good excuses but surprisingly she was my best friend so I let her get away with it.

"What's up dad?"

"Could you come inside for a minute?"

"Ugh, can this wait? I'm waiting on Bella so that we can go watch a movie."

"Actually I would kind of like her to be here for this as well. The movies can wait, this is a family matter."

"Are you sure you want Bella here then?"

"I think that she can help with this particular problem being that she is so familiar with it."

"You're speaking in tongues…what's up old man?"

"Old man? I could out run you in my wheel chair boy, now get in the house."

I smiled as I stood up from the porch steps just in time to see Bella coming towards the house. The closer she got the more her smile turned into a frown, I looked back up at my father Billy who wore a determined stare as Bella pulled up to the house in her old beat truck.

I had given her the truck for her birthday last year, Billy told me she would love it…and of course she did. The damn thing never ran right though. I must have rebuilt the engine twice in the stupid thing.

I turned and moved up the steps as Bella inched her way closer towards the house. She always moved slowly and cautiously when she was close to the tribal member's. I couldn't understand why but I knew that the older member's appreciated her precautions. It was often brought up in the tribal meetings.

"Are we in trouble?"

I looked from Billy to Bella and smirked before rolling my eyes and falling down onto the living room couch with a loud thump. Bella moved softly against the old wooden floorboards before taking a seat on the love seat and looking intently at me.

"Did you do something to get us in trouble Bella?"

"Me? I'm an angel compared to you…what did you do Jacob?"

Billy hushed us by clearing his throat and moving his chair to face to the window. The old man got around pretty good for a handicap if you ask me. I looked over to where Bella sat on the chair, her brown eyes were focused on Billy and the information he was taking forever to just spit out. If I didn't already know what she was I would assume that she was a normal human, but her scent gave her away.

"There are new people in the area, they are not like us and pose a possible threat to our people. I need you both to take Quill and Seth with you to check it out; we don't want a war with these people Jacob. The elders have already drawn up a treaty in preparation for their arrival. Go in form and let Bella do the talking; we want to agree to our terms...they are outlined in the treaty. Bella can you handle that?"

What the hell was he talking about was all that was running in my mind, were these more people like Bella?

"Who are they or well I guess I should be asking what are they?"

"They are different from you and Jacob Bella...they are vampires, we don't want them on our land or feeding on our people."

I watched Bella tense and ten her shoulders slumped as she stood up and began pacing the floor. I absolutely hated it when she got this way, she was a nervous mess and I knew it, but she'd be stubborn as all hell and never say anything. It was cool that she was brave and accepted everything that brought to her in her strange life...but still all the same her nervous pacing and wringing of her hands was annoying.

"I can handle it Billy, when do we leave?"

"Nightfall Bella, and don't let these boys push you around when you go...I have a feeling that these bloodsuckers might respond better if you approach them."

"So I am going alone?"

"Oh hell no, she does not get to have all the fun!"

I stood up and glared at Billy, there was no way in hell I was sending Bella to meet and greet some stupid fucking bloodsuckers. Over my dead body and I was going to make my point very clear if Billy was going to argue with me on this one.

"No Bella and Jacob sit back down. We won't send her alone. But you three boys will be in wolf form when you all approach, just in case they attack."

I slumped back down on the couch as Bella looked from me to Billy, she wasn't even part of the tribe; she simply showed up one day and never really went back to wherever she came from. Why does she get to have all the fun? She probably won't even be mean to those bloodsuckers and then they would think that we were some softies.

"Ok, so back to my original question...when do we leave?"

I looked at Bella and shrugged my shoulders I was just excited for the possibility of real action, I hadn't had any real fun since my change. The boys and I would test our strengths and limitations by wrestling each other or seeing who could shift the fastest.

"You four will leave now, the sun will be down completely by time you get to the forest edge; I have already arranged for the meeting."

"And how did you do that?"

"I had Leah leave a note on the door this afternoon."

"Was anyone home Billy?"

"No one was home."

Bella sighed as she moved over to me and stuck her hand out to help me off of the couch. I could hear the rumble of Quill's car pull up outside making me wonder why I was always last to find out everything. I was supposed to be the Alpha, the one in charge but I was treated more like child. I swatted Bella's hand away and stood up on my own, I didn't need her help to get up.

"Let's get this party started."

Bella smirked as she moved out of the front door and greeted Quill and Seth. Seth was always really nice to Bella and I don't think that Quill really knew what to think about her, we had never met someone of her kind. Quill and Seth shifted quickly as Bella climbed onto Seth's back and I shifted into my wolf form. We took off threw the woods towards the edge of the forest running as fast as our feet would carry us. It was always a sort of race when we ran in packs like this.

My ears perked up as the most rancid smell I had ever encountered approached low to the ground and fast. I stopped dead in my tracks and mentally told the rest to stay close behind me. When we were in wolf form we could communicate mentally with each other, it was a good defense when we needed to be quiet.

Bella slid off of Seth's back as she took a few steps closer to us unfolding a piece of paper and gripping it tightly in her hands. Three sets of golden eyes appeared in the woods as Bella took another step closer to where they stood. I wanted to talk so bad, but knew that would only be possible if I shifted back to my human form, which would leave me vulnerable to the bloodsuckers.

A tall blonde that you would only see on the cover of a magazine stood next to a short pixie like girl with black spiky hair. A third bloodsucker stepped up next to them, she appeared young yet older than the rest and her auburn hair fell over her shoulders. She stuck her hand out to Bella and I growled. Bella shot me a glare before stepping closer and shaking the woman's hand. The other two girls looked at her curiously before the blonde cocked her hip out and glared at Bella.

"You left a note." The blonde spoke.

"We have a treaty that we would like for you and your clan to sign. We do not want you feeding on the humans in the area nor do we want you on our land."

"Hi, I'm Alice, this is Esme and my sister Rosalie...you don't have to worry about us feeding on humans...we live off of animals."

Bella nodded her head as I looked down at the small pixie girl curiously. She eyed me up and down before she reached out for the paper that Bella held in her hand. The blonde who I assume to be Rosalie snatched the paper out of Bella's hand and scuffed at the writing.

"Alice, don't be nice to them...they obviously aren't going to be nice to us. And what if we do decide to come on to your land?"

The vampire I presume to be Esme moved her hand over Rosalie's shoulder and offered Bella an apologetic smile before looking down at the paper. She didn't speak but her eyes spoke a million words to Rosalie, I didn't like it not one bit.

"The treaty states that if you come onto our land or harm the humans in the area we will expose you for who you are and there will be war. We are here to protect these people."

"And why should we answer to you? Who are you, or better yet...what are you?"

"I assume your Rosalie...what I am or who I am is none of your business. The treaty is so that we can live here in peace, sign it or there will not be any peace for you."

Rosalie growled as Alice moved in front of her, again Esme offered an apologetic smile that made me want to growl in response. I bit my tongue instead and silently told Quill and Seth to be more guarded. I didn't like them asking questions about Bella. All that they needed to know was she wasn't like them and she never would be.

"Are you going to sign the treaty?"

"Yes dear, but we must take this to our other expected family member's...may we bring it back to you?"

For the first time Esme spoke but I didn't like the way she was looking at Bella like a mother. Bella's mother was dead and she didn't need some bloodsucker trying to confuse her and make her think or feel any different. Bella turned her gaze to me as I nodded my head 'yes'. She turned back to Esme and nodded her head 'yes' silently translating my approval. I just wanted Bella as far away from these blood suckers as possible. I knew that this must be hard for her.

"Then we shall return dear, would two evenings from tonight be alright? It'll give me time to explain this to my husband and sons before having them sign and return the paper."

Bella nodded her head as the blonde turned her nose up at her, I was tempted to rip her throat our just for being so cruel to Bella.

"Let's get out of here, these dogs stink."

I growled this time low and deep as Bella threw a hand up in the air to silence me. The bloodsuckers took the paper as the smallest one, Alice, turned and waved to Bella smiling as they took off through the woods.


	10. Over Again

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and she is oh so very awesome for letting me play with them. Thank you.**

**Over Again**

_"Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult"_

Getting ready for high school again made my feet move slow even for a human. I loathed school when I had to attend as a human, and being forced into another classroom with scandalous teenage girls who are secretly drooling over there professor was not on my list of things to repeat in this existence.

Everyone minus Carlisle and Esme had piled into my Volvo to head towards the school campus. We were going to work on not drawing attention to ourselves, which if you ask me is going to be the hardest of our task. Jasper was clearly nervous about being so close to humans that it was making me nervous. I had to ask him to chill out on several occasions this morning.

We were going to plan for a short time frame just to see how things worked out. Rose and Emmett had done this several times before and it was no work for them; but for the other three of us it was going to be torture. Alice and I were going to be in our Junior year while Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett faked Senior year.

The only reason Jasper was starting off as a senior as opposed to suffering with even lesser minded teenagers like Alice and I was because he was faking to be Rosalie's twin brother. We were all adopted and sticking to a sly truth, we're from Alaska.

I heard the entire thoughts of the teenagers crowding the parking lot move our way as we pulled into the parking lot before I even saw the eyes twitch and stare. Alice was her usual happy self hopping out of the car with a pleasant grin. She didn't mind the attention and actually thought it would be a good promotion for her fall line coming out soon. She used false names and false company names, so no one would know it was her design…but still wearing the clothes had its effect.

All of us kept our eyes to the ground as we trudged through the rainy parking lot up to the school's front office to pick up our schedules. Esme had already made the arrangements for our enrollment so they were expecting us this morning. I tried to block out the thoughts of everyone around us as I concentrated on the treaty that I signed earlier. It was the basic document scribbled on with rules and principles on it. I didn't have a problem with any of their rules, what I had a problem with was the way these people approached it. Rose's thoughts were teetering on a dangerous edge causing Jasper to be frustrated with the tribe.

Rose had made plans to go with Esme and Carlisle to turn the treaty in, I was sure she had an ulterior motive but every time she caught me trying to figure out or get a glimpse into her thoughts on the situation or what made her so angry she would starting thinking of lewd thoughts with Emmett. It was disgusting but a good deterrent. Alice was going to go with everyone but Jasper didn't want her too insisting that she should stay with us just in case.

Alice slid my schedule into my hand as the family began to move out of the small confined office. I stared down at the bold blocked out lines looking at the classes they had prepared for me. Alice reached her hand over the paper and my eyes drew up to her face.

"Looks like we have home room together, we should get going...I don't want to be late on our first day of school."

I rolled my eyes and adjusted the backpack that sat on my shoulder before following Alice down the hall way. Jasper kissed her briefly on the cheek as we separated causing my thoughts to trail back to Bella. I entered the room and waited while Alice discussed with the teacher where our assigned seats would be. She used her beauty and charm to convince the teacher that introductions where not necessary. I looked around taking in the small student body that filled our home room class. Each girl had something missing, brown eyes, brown hair, a perfectly shaped body...none of them where Bella.

As I took my seat I pulled out a pencil and paper and began drawing lines with no meaning, I was trying to block out my thoughts of Bella, trying to get over what was once mine, and trying desperately to move on. That evening played over and over in my mind, the way her body bounced slowly above me...the curve of her hips, the taste of her skin and then the pencil lead broke under the amount of pressure I was applying on the paper creating an indention in the desk.

I looked over as Alice's eye's met my own and she frowned, further reminding me that I am alone. My pride was wounded and the constant thoughts of my happiness was causing bleeding in my brain I'm sure but even then during those desperate times of want and need for her all that I wanted for her was peace, and that would never include me.

There were times when I would let my frustrations take over and I would curse the day I met her, such an angel...such perfection, but I never wanted to hear her say she loved me just so that she could disappear again, and I am glad that she didn't try to reach me because it's better if she hates me so that she can find something or anything out there that was better for her than me. I knew it was all bull shit...but I needed to keep telling myself that so I could move on. Thirty years later and the only woman I had ever been with has never left my thoughts.

In a sick way I wanted to be able to thank her for that evening, even if it meant her turning her back on me and walking away a few minutes later driving me that much more mad, I knew she wouldn't nor could anyone else ever understand the monster that I had become or my warped opinions of things like suicidal hate. I would never have the love and heart of a woman that pure, she could never compliment me or make me love me for who I am...so why even bother?

I drove far enough away from her that morning that I probably never crossed her mind when she woke up that morning, and if she did...she probably did whatever it took in her heart to leave me behind because it was just one night, one moment taken for granted between two lonely people. She should hate me for not staying...I would and do hate myself for it. It's hard to swallow the hatred I built up over the years.

With a sad heart I left without a good bye or even a wave, what kind of man does that after a woman has just given herself to you completely? I was kicking myself for all the mistakes that I had made, I was a boy that she made a man and I could picture awful things like her big brown eyes crying until I would scream to make it go away and to bring back her smile so that I could have that one image where it should and used to be. If she were to ever meet me now I am sure she would ask, 'how could I do this to her?' but even I didn't have that answer...and therefore she should hate me as much as I hate myself.

The bell sounded bringing my attention back to the front of the class I pretended to care what homework assignments we were being given out. Something about a paper on ourselves to get to know each other with. I didn't want to get to know any of these people, but I'd write the damn paper for the sake of Alice's little 'let's go to high school' project.

I walked through the rest of the day with the same attitude, lingering on thoughts of why I should get over the very thought of Bella and trying to force my mind to focus on something other than her beauty. It was her presence that I craved, not the thought of her presence. I sighed as the last bell rang signaling my freedom from this wretched place and the mundane people that occupied it. At this time I had learned the name of every person in the school, and the gossip that surrounded them. Most of it though was about me and my family. We were fresh meat in their eyes and they couldn't wait to sink their teeth into our lives.

I climbed into my car and waited for my family to arrive tapping my fingers on the steering wheel impatiently as they each piled into the car only to speed off as soon as the door was closed. Emmett thought it was extremely funny that Rose and he had gotten detention on their first day there, Jasper was less than amused with the amount of girls that flocked to him in gym and Alice was very contempt that she looked fashionably better than everyone in the school. I was a freaking miserable mess.

I sped down the old winding road until I turned into the drive way slowing my speed slightly as wound up to the house. Carlisle's car was parked outside giving me the impression that they would be leaving with that stupid treaty soon. I guess it was better to get it over with sooner rather than later. Rose was preparing herself to not breath the entire time, I could see her memories of the wretched smell approaching the woods occasionally…that was until she changed her thoughts to something else.

I pulled the car to a stop and remove the keys from the ignition as everyone else piled out and into the house. I was taking my time, it was annoying how all of their thoughts would flash between the treaty and then to their love lives. I was actually going to be relieved when they either 'a' just told me what the fuck was going on or 'b' stopped thinking about it entirely.

"Edward dear, will you be staying here?"

I paused, turned, raised an eye brow and looked over to Esme who was her usual smiling self. She was a very kind woman, and perfect for Carlisle in every way possible. Her human life had been a tragic story of loss and death meeting Carlisle was a god sent gift to her and the only issue she had with being a monster was the fact that she couldn't have real children. It was probably also the only problem Rosalie had with it.

"Do I have a choice? The feeling I got was that I was welcome to go."

"Well, I was talking to Carlisle and you being able to hear their thoughts might be beneficial."

I shrugged my shoulders and let out a sigh as Rosalie passed by me with a smirk. I might go just so that I could annoy the holy crap out of that woman.

"I'd like to go Esme."

She smiled brightly at me before placing her hand on my shoulder. We both turned around so that we could head out of the house and to the car. The treaty was in one of her hands held so loosely that not even the paper had a small wrinkle on it from the pressure of her finger tips.

We stepped out of the house and onto the front porch. I moved ahead of Esme being the gentleman Carlisle normally was with her and stuck my hand out to help her down the stairs. I was normally called, 'the kiss ass' by Rose or Emmett but it felt natural to be polite to Esme, she was from a time where men were supposed to act like gentleman and unfortunately end up with a man who didn't agree with the times. Carlisle wanted to spend the rest of eternity making that up to her, because she did deserve better.

"You're too kind Edward, when are you going to find a mate and be happy?"

"My heart doesn't exist anymore Esme…so I do not see that day coming."

"It is possible to love more than once."

"I don't think I could settle for a lesser love."

The corners of her mouth pulled up slightly in a forced smile as we climbed into the car. I sat in the back and allowed her the front seat. Carlisle and Rose were not far behind jumping into the car with us and then driving off. Rosalie's thoughts had taken a very hateful tone and no one really spoke the entire way there. I wish I could enjoy the silence but unfortunately their thoughts would never stop.

I stared out the window catching glimpses of things moving within the woods as we approached closer to the tribe's lands. I was sure it was them and they were watching us approach. I felt the anxiety I had felt several years ago when Jasper and I began our walk into the woods. That walk changed so many things in my life, it was the catalyst the beginning to a never ending story for me.

The car came to a stop on the side of the road as we all climbed out and headed into the woods. Carlisle and I were following Esme and Rosalie who knew where they were going. A horrible smell made me stop breathing entirely, it made me feel like I rolled around in rancid week old moldy maggot covered food. I was disgusted completely and understood know why Rosalie hated these people so much. She was vain enough that if you smelt bad you were not on her polite list.

"Well, at least they didn't bring the girl this time."

I looked around as several wolves and a young teenage boy approach us in the clearing. He had long black hair that drifted down his back, his eyes were black as night and even though he couldn't have been more than sixteen years old I was sure that he held some authority with this group.

I began listening carefully to the thoughts around me realizing soon that the wolves could communicate with each other without speaking. They referred to the boy standing in front of us as Jacob, there alpha; and though the other four wolves seemed to be able to use some sort of communication it appeared that Jacob couldn't, maybe it was only while in there truest of forms?

"Did your entire family sign the treaty?"

"Yes, and if we do need to contact you…may I ask how we would do that?"

"You won't contact us, you will stay away from our people and our land."

I didn't like the angry undertone that Jacobs thoughts had moved to and I really didn't like the fact that he was hoping we would cause him a problem. I growled low and under my breath as Carlisle took a small step back and smiled at Jacob.

"We do not wish to cause you or your people harm."

Jacob scuffed slightly looking back the wolves and then turning to stare at my family again. His hatred for our kind was strong enough to match Rosalie's hatred yet childish enough to get himself and his people killed. He didn't nod, wave, or really acknowledge us in a way of a formal good bye, instead he turned with his back to us to show us that he wasn't afraid and then moved to leave the woods. That's when the thought hit me, hard and smooth.

_Bella is going to be pissed when we get back._


	11. Invitation to Disaster

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does and she is oh so very awesome for letting me play with them. Thank you.**

**Invitation to Disaster**

It was definite in my mind that he had said Bella, I knew it and there was no one in this world or universe that was going to deny me that. It was a large slap in the face that she must still exist; I mean really, how many Bella's could really be out there?

I wanted to go back and ask, I wanted to demand her presence…I wanted to do a lot of things that I didn't do. Jacob and his wolves had disappeared into the woods quickly. I just stood there with my jaw tense looking through the trees as Rose scuffed and pulled me back to the car. Esme and Carlisle had looked at me curiously but I didn't say a word. I was still in shock from the mere thought of her name.

The drive was tense for me all the way back home. Every muscle every nerve every fucking inch of me screamed to get out of the car and go find her. But I would be putting my family at risk because rule number one on the stupid fucking treaty that I had just signed and handed over like a good little boy said not to cross on to their lands.

I had barely made it out of the car before I moved to the side of the garage and started pacing. I didn't want my mood to ruin whatever mood Jasper was in and the rest of the family probably would just think that I was crazy, and then I would get a big old fucking lecture from Rose if I did mention what I wanted to do.

How in the world was I going to overcome this obstacle? It was ridiculous, I shouldn't have to stay off their lands, and I didn't want to feed off of their people. I wanted to see Bella…see if she was real or at least find out if my mind was playing tricks on me.

"You're thinking about crossing their lands."

I turned my head and stopped pacing to see Alice; it wasn't a question…just a statement of mere fact. And, I couldn't deny it; I was thinking about it…it took all of the strength I had in me not to just go without a care or a thought in the world on the subject.

"He thought of her name Alice."

"Who's name?"

"Bella."

Alice dipped her head and looked at her feet as her thoughts changed to Jasper and the family. She thought of how nice it was that we were pretending to be human, or that we were in an established area and wouldn't have to leave for awhile. She thought of a million different things that made me feel guilty for even thinking about breaking that treaty.

"What does she look like again Edward?"

"Long brown hair, pale skin, bright brown eyes, just…I don't know Alice, beautiful."

"There are a lot of girls in this world that could fit that description. And how sure are you that it's her? Couldn't there be another Bella?"

I took in a deep breath and dropped my hands to my sides. I had gone over these possibilities in my head over and over and over again, I still came up with the same conclusion that I had to know if it was in fact her or not. My entire existence depended on that small bit of knowledge.

"I need to know if it is her Alice."

"And what if it is? Have you thought about whether she could be one of them or not? Would it break your heart to find it was her and that she wanted nothing to do with you?"

"Of course it would, that's a stupid question…but the fact of the matter is the 'what if' Alice, I am so tired of saying 'what if' to myself."

"If she is one of them it would explain a lot."

"A lot of what?"

"Well, I can't see those people, everything goes black…and when I would search for her for you…well I never found anything it was all black, a strange empty void…they all stink really bad…did you notice that?"

"I noticed Alice, but I'm not worried about the smell right now."

"I know, I don't think that you should go over there. If it was meant to be it will, just give it time…maybe if it is her, she'll see your name on the treaty and come to you."

"Alice, my last name says Cullen on the treaty."

"Yes, but you signed it Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, any idiot can put two and two together brother."

I sighed and dropped my head before moving towards the garage and leaning on the side of it. I peered up at Alice who moved swiftly to my side and mimicked my position against the garage. What the hell was I going to do? I didn't care what she smelt like anymore; I'd hold my breath just too simply be in her arms again. I'd hold my breath until actually did kill me, which would never happen.

"What do I do Alice?"

"You stay here and do nothing right now."

"I can't do that."

Alice simply shrugged her shoulders towards me and began humming a soft melody to herself while her thoughts moved back to the family and everything I would put at risk just to find out if this Bella the one Jacob though of was my Bella.

Emmett appeared around the corner of the garage and looked from me to Alice before leaning against the garage wall with one arm. His hat was turned backwards and he had a strange shit eating grin on face…Emmett was always up to something.

Alice stood up straight and moved over to Emmett before hugging him and walking away. She didn't give me any sisterly words of encouragement or a good bye. I stayed silently looking at Emmett whose thoughts were annoyingly crystal clear, I say annoying because I didn't always want to hear the truth, the half truth was less hurtful and to know that Rose and Esme had sent him to 'cheer' me up was bull shit.

"So, I tried to tell them when they told me you needed some 'man' time that you weren't really into manly thing…but here I am anyways."

"Emmett, I just want to be alone."

"Nope, sorry man…no can do, I'm under Roses orders and you know how she gets when I don't listen. I promise not to hurt you."

"Hurt me? Emmett what the fuck are you planning? "

"A good time Edward, a good time. Come on, we're taking the Jeep."

Emmett leaned up and turned quickly into the garage. I moved at a slower pace behind him thinking of all the different ways I could torture Rose as I walked into the garage. There was a musky smell of gasoline as he turned the Jeep's engine to life. It roared with a small shake and settled into an easy purr as I climbed into the passenger side. Emmett adjusted his mirrors and fastened his seat belt as he pulled out of the garage.

"Where are we going Emmett?"

"To have some fun my brother."

"Who's fun, yours or mine?"

"Mine of course."

I rolled my eyes and settled into the seat as Emmett pulled out of the drive way and down the long winding road leading to our house. He accelerated on the gas as he pulled off of the pavement and into the woods, I didn't dislike off road…I just didn't choose to do it for fun.

Mud splashed up around the tires as trees flew by us at a blinding speed. Rose had tinkered with his engine enough to where not even mother nature's over growth could slow him down; he had wrecked his precious Jeep so many times driving through the woods that I at first wondered if he got a kick out of watching Rose have to fix it…but then again it could have been the tiny adrenaline rush he would get whenever he found something big enough to hit with the Jeep.

"So what's got you down this time Eddie boy?"

"Please don't call me Eddie, Emmett."

"Ok, what would you like for me to call you because Edward is too proper for my vocabulary? I'll give you a few second to pick before you are stuck with Eddie so think quickly."

"Edward."

"I already told you that name won't work…dude you don't even look like an Edward."

"Well, then what all mighty Emmett do I look like?"

Emmett glanced at me from the corner of his eye as we flew over another pot hole in the mud. I saw the twitch in his lips as he tried to force back a smile while his mind shifted through the many nick names I could or possibly did look like.

"Emmett, can't you just call me Edward?"

"Nope, we need secret code names for each other…something like Almighty awesome super doper god of love."

"Emmett that's retarded, no one will ever call you that."

"Rosie does."

"I don't even want to know the details of that statement. Can we change the topic?"

"Fine, Eddie what would you like to talk about?"

"I don't fucking know, I was doing just fine leaning on the side of the garage."

"Why were you leaning on the side of the garage?"

I huffed a little and looked over to Emmett while his thoughts were telling me that I was acting like a little girl. Again, his honesty was a tad bit on the annoying side; but it was at least nice to know that he wouldn't block me from his thoughts…he really didn't care what anyone thought and that included me.

"I was thinking about Bella."

"Oh yea, you mentioned her a few times… that chick who took your virtue and then bailed right?"

"Emmett she didn't take my virtue."

"But you two had sex…right?"

"Emmett, that's not what I was thinking about."

Emmett laughed as he jerked the steering wheel hard right to dodge an upcoming tree which in turn splashed mud up the side of the Jeep and onto my window. I rolled my eyes and peered back at him as he turned the radio down and slowed the Jeep.

"What were you thinking about then Eddie?"

"That wolf, or whatever the hell he was thought of her name."

"What was his thought?"

"He thought something along the lines of 'Bella will be pissed."

"Pissed at what? Dude, I hate it when women get all pissed off and start stomping around for no fucking reason."

"Emmett have you ever stopped to think that maybe just maybe you gave them a reason?"

"Why's it got to be me bro? There are three other males in the house."

"The rest of us behave."

"Blah, the rest of you don't try to live life to the fullest. Dude I didn't choose this life, but you better believe that I am going to take advantage of the possibilities…you people are so depressing sometimes. I bet you I act out for that reason."

"What are you, your own personal physiatrist now?"

"Someone's got to do it."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled to myself sincerely for the first time in awhile. Emmett giving himself his own diagnosis of why he acts up was strangely what I needed to hear at the moment.

"Anyways, Eddie…stop distracting my, so what…couldn't there be like a million Bella's?"

"I guess so man, but I want to know if the Bella he thought about is my Bella, but I can't exactly cross there lines without putting you all at risk."

"So, have someone else cross the lines for you."

"Like who Emmett?"

"I don't know… dude, look up a random address and write a letter to her."

"What? And what if someone else reads the letter?"

"So what if they do man, at least you tried. You want me to prank call the area until we find her? Dude that actually sounds like fun."

"Emmett, I don't think we are supposed to be calling 'there' people."

"Whatever man, Rosie made me read that treaty like a million fucking times because she seems to think I'll be the one to break there fucking rules."

"You do normally break the rules Emmett."

"Eddie, you are not supposed to take her side, anyways as I was saying… those rules are about us not physically being around them or their people. That treaty does not say anything about calling or writing them love letters."

"Are you trying to piss them off?"

"No, I'm trying to get you to lighten up a bit…you're killing my fun man."

"I'm killing your fun? Dude, when do you not have fun? The only person's fun I could possibly be killing is Jasper's and that because he is the unfortunate one to actually feel what I am feeling."

"Hey just because I don't have the cool super powers you three do does not mean that I don't notice things...come on dude, what harm could we really cause? We don't have to give them our names...and we can get Alice to order us one of those cell phones in someone else's name or whatever. It'll be fun man and they won't be able to trace it back to us."

I had now officially been with Emmett for far too long, his option of fun actually had some logical sense to it, and the way his brain functioned would never cease to amaze me in the slightest bit...so I'd give in...it'd make most of the family happy that I wasn't at least crossing the borders to look for her, and Emmett was right, we would not be breaking the treaty...I'd let him have his fun as long as he made sure that I found out if this was my Bella.

I sighed and shrug my shoulders as Emmett slapped the steering wheel jolting us to the left and then to the right when his laughter subsided and he slapped the other end of the steering wheel. I was happy to know that at least I had one foot in the right direction, disappointed that it took Emmett to figure out which way that step was going to be, and upset that I couldn't just walk over there and find out for myself with my own two eyes. But this would do, I had nothing else so I had to make do with it. I made a mental note that when I run out of options in the future to speak with Emmett, he thinks outside of the box all the time and sometimes that's just what my situation needs.


	12. Air Waves

**Air Waves**

**I do not own the characters.**

"Come on; let me call the next one!"

It had taken two days to convince Alice that we would be alright calling with a fake number, fake names, and fake locations. It then took three weeks to convince Rosalie and Jasper that it would be ok. I never once had to beg or plead with Carlisle and Esme; they simply wanted me happy…now why couldn't the rest of the family be more like them?

"Emmett, you've called all of them…can't I call one?"

I held the small black cell phone in my hand and stared at Emmett, he had not let anyone but Rose call one of the millions of numbers in the phone book. He insisted that it was because he was perfecting his different accents for when we would travel.

Alice didn't care to call and Jasper was comfortable sitting with her and watching us. He definitely made the calls interesting; Emmett would be in the middle of trying to act as if he was the local law enforcement when Jasper would send him into giggle fits. It was a sweet torture for being a complete ass if you ask me. It's not like Jasper was causing him pain or anything.

"Dude, I wanted to ask the refrigerator question next!"

"What the hell is the refrigerator question?"

"Eddie, it's when you call and you ask them if there refrigerator is running, they place you on hold and go check, when they get back and say 'yes' you tell them to go catch it and hang up on them."

"That sounds stupid Emmett; we are supposed to be locating Bella, not telling horrible jokes."

"You're no fun."

"You're an idiot, but you don't see me complaining."

"You're both idiots, give me the damn phone."

I didn't have time to argue as Rose reached over and snatched the phone I had just retrieved from Emmett out of my hands. She pushed her bottom lip out in a fake pout as she moved a few strands of loose hair away from her face and flipped the phone open.

I slumped into my chair and threw my elbow up on the dining room table where we all sat; I shaped my hand into a fist and rested my chin on it waiting for Rose to get done with her childish phone calls so that I could begin the real search for Bella.

"Hello, yes…this is Alisa Manicotti; I am wondering if you know how I could reach my sister Bella."

There was a long pause as a smile of satisfaction crossed Roses face. The woman she was speaking with did know of a Bella, but was not sure how to reach her; I wondered how long Rose would be able to play off this 'Alisa Manicotti' until this woman got suspicious of her questions.

"Oh no, Mrs. Clearwater…I'm sure she doesn't even know I exist. We were separated at birth and I just found out she was still alive so I decided to grab a phone book and look her up. You wouldn't by chance be able to direct me to someone who would know how to reach her would you?"

There was another pause and mixture of sounds like moving paper or wind against the phone. I heard a front door creaking through the background and the rustle of old rusted chains. I could picture a dainty woman sitting on a front porch swing pushing her self back and forth deciding whether Rose was real or a fake. How much did this Mrs. Clearwater know about Bella and how much was she actually telling us? There was more motion on the other line and then a deep seeded questioning in her voice. She was verifying us?

"I guess I don't know what her last name is right now, it's been so long, I'm sure she's married or something…she should be 48 now, though you know us girls; we never tell our real ages."

There was a low hum on the other side of the line and then Mrs. Clearwater informed Rose that the only Bella she knows of is a young girl who runs with the Quileute kids. That had to be my Bella, but she shouldn't be a young girl…maybe Alice was right? Maybe it was a common name, or worse; what if she was a sworn enemy?

I stood up from the chair not really wanting to hear anymore at the moment or discuss this new information further. I was dancing on a thin line between self loathing and immediate depression that even Jasper wouldn't be able to pull me out of. Maybe not knowing would have been better than knowing and not being able to do anything.

I mean what really did I know? That maybe this Bella was not my Bella? Something in my gut told me that it was, but I didn't want to believe it…I had searched for her for years, would it be possible that she was like me in a way that she didn't age? And if so, why wasn't she looking for me? I mean if Alice was able to find me why would she? So then the question at hand is…did she want to know me? I felt used and sick and confused and every other strange emotion possible until a smooth blanket of peacefulness wrapped around me.

I turned my head around to see Jasper standing a few feet away with a scowl on his face. I felt my eyebrows pinch together when his thoughts changed and he took a step closer to me.

"Why is his girl so important man? You have your family."

"Why is Alice so important to you?"

"Edward, if I crushed this hard on every one night stand I ever had before joining this family I would drive myself nuts."

"She wasn't a one night stand Jasper."

"How long did you know her?"

"I'm not defending my feelings to you."

Jasper growled and walked out of the room leaving me to my own selfish pity party. I knew what his point was and under normal circumstances I would probably agree with him, but this didn't feel like a normal circumstance to me. I needed to find out more, my curious nature wasn't going to rest until I spoke to her.

I walked into the dining room where everyone but Jasper was still sitting. I gave Alice an apologetic look as she shook her head in my direction. Her thoughts told me not to worry that Jasper would be fine, his concern was over my well being. I took the cell phone from Rose's hand as another number began ringing a deep masculine voice on the other end answered and I paused for words.

"This is Billy."

"Yes, my name is Leonardo Capulet and I was wondering if you by chance knew who Bella was."

"Who is this again?"

"Leonardo Capulet. I'm looking for Bella."

"Bella doesn't live here. How did you get this number?"

"The phone book. So do you know her?"

"I don't know who you are but Bella doesn't know a Leonardo Capulet. Don't call here again."

The line disconnected quickly and flipped the phone shut. I knew instantly that Billy as well as Mrs. Clearwater knew more about Bella than they were letting on; I wondered how many people were on to our phone calls. But knew that it didn't matter, Alice had the phone set up somewhere out of Texas with a strange name and an entirely different bank account for bills to draft from, it was as she said untraceable.

I set the phone down and let out a heavy sigh, tomorrow was the weekend which meant no school and nothing else to do. Emmett picked up the phone and began prank calling more people as Rose listened in carefully. I had studied this family enough to know that they didn't care near as much as I did on whether I found Bella or not, but it was still nice in a weird way that they were helping me.

"I know it's her. I can feel it, I need to go over there."

"And how do you propose that without breaking the treaty?"

"There has to be a way we can contact them, maybe to set up another meeting, can't we pretend to have some sort of dire need?"

Rose was thinking that I was crazy, I knew from her snide comment about how I wanted to do that she would be against it, but she was teetering on how much she hated this school and was ready to try college instead. The people here were too mundane for her.

"Edward, it would never work, just give up and find someone else."

"Rose, I can't. I want to, I've tried, I can't."

"Whatever."

I rolled my eyes as her attention moved back to Emmett and the cheesy refrigerator joke he was telling. He closed the phone with a loud howl of laughter that put a smile on Alice's face. I knew she wasn't concerned so much with finding Bella as she was with the fact that she couldn't see anything across the borders, the tribe was so thick over there that everything blacked out for her. She wanted to know why but there was no way to get her answer much less my own about Bella.

"Why don't we create our own treaty for them to sign? We could stand on the border to get there attention and deliver it that way, surely they'll want to talk to us then."

"Edward you are just going to start drama for this family, give it up already."

"Rose, I can't. Stop fucking asking me to do what I can not do."

"Well stop putting this family in danger."

"I'm trying to find a way that it won't be dangerous."

"There isn't a way Edward. Get that through your thick skull."

I could feel the argument brewing inside me, the force of pure anger from her simple yet complex request. How was I supposed to give up? Stop being who I am? It was impossible…and she knew it.

"Edward, why don't you wait until she comes for you…we'll drop a reminder that you exist, if she comes looking for you then fine."

"Alice, what do you mean a reminder?"

"Emmett, may I see the phone?"

Emmett slid the phone across the table to Alice as Rose and I continued to stare at each other with simple disgust. She was so self centered and completely blind to anyone else's feelings.

Alice closed her eyes as her fingers began pushing buttons on the phone. She then held the phone to her ear and waited a few seconds as it rang…a few seconds more and there was still no answer. I was becoming frustrated with the entire family before she spoke.

"Tell Bella, that he does exist."

With that she hung up the phone and slid it back over to Rose. I waited for a minute before asking what the hell she was up to. I knew not to question Alice because she was alright right when she did something, but it would be nice for her to clue the rest of us in on her little plan.

"Who did you call Alice?"

"I don't know, but something told me that whoever answered will deliver the message to Bella…if she's smart she'll ask the right questions and come to you."


	13. Lacuna Coil

**Lacuna Coil**

**I do not own them.**

I dreaded the moments waiting for the phone call. The call that would be her, my Bella. I didn't know what I would say or do. I came up with several different scenarios and I even made up several little scripts in my mind but none of them seemed to have the distinct finesse that was Bella.

I drummed my fingers over the high school standard fake wooden desk waiting for the bell to ring knowing that I was slipping into the same pattern as the rest of the Forks High student body. Dreading each class, each boring lecture, and each assignment. They all meant nothing to me.

Even the teach who absent mindedly scribbled across the board wanting for this day to be over with so that he could indulge in the family life made things worse. I'd never be able to offer Bella that life…but then again would she even want a half charade of that life with me?

I attempted to move my thoughts elsewhere, venturing into other classrooms until I saw Alice gazing at the board but thinking about the future. She was really good at appearing to be in the present but not ever really being in the present. She took her steps four steps in front of people knowing how she would land on her feet each and every time. I wish she could see Bella, it would all make things that much easier. But instead when she searched there was nothing.

As soon as the bell rang I stood up sliding my books from the desk I occupied, ignoring the murmurs of selfish self absorb preteen adolescent girls who were begging for the opportunity to speak with me and headed out of the class room door. This school day was over and I would only be starting another one tomorrow.

I moved through the crowd enjoying the light rain as it prickled against my skin while I headed to my car. I sat there waiting for my family to arrive and when they were all finally settled in, I sped off without a care in the world of the thoughts surrounding me. I should have been paying attention because the uproar of emotion coming from Alice's thoughts was enough to put Jasper on edge and force me to sink further into my seat. I didn't even want to ask. But her thoughts where telling me anyways.

Bella; Jacobs Bella got the message and while we are presently driving back home from school Esme is waiting at home to deliver a not so good message. My Bella, wouldn't have done this…my Bella was an angel…whoever showed up at the house this afternoon was not my Bella. I knew it in my heart, but I didn't have any way of explaining that to Alice.

"Edward, don't you even argue, this is done."

"Alice, I have no intentions of arguing…it wasn't her though."

"Oh and how do you know that?"

"I just do."

Alice rolled her eyes as I felt Emmett's gaze and Rose's unsure hiss through the car. Jasper maintained his silent posture in the back seat with his arm wrapped around Alice until we reached the house. A fowl smell that the rain had not washed away tickled my nose forcing me to hold my breath telling me that someone from the tribe had in fact been here. But it was not my Bella.

I moved quickly into the house finding Esme waiting for me but still preoccupied. Her thoughts told me to sit, but her body language told me not to sit in the area she was presently redecorating. I moved into the living room and took a seat on my piano bench and turned towards her waiting to discuss my opinion on the conversation she was brewing up in her mind.

"Edward, a young girl named Bella stopped by today and asked that all of you quite prank calling the town looking for her. She claims that if she wanted to speak to any of you for any purpose at all she would."

Esme frowned slightly but as she replayed the message in her mind a young woman with long black hair and dark beady eyes appeared. Her skin was a tan color despite the lack on sun in the area and it was not my Bella who delivered the message. That was someone else entirely. But instead of interrupting I let her continue with her message. The one person I could never be rude to was Esme, she was too kind to all of us for me to berate her that way.

"That wasn't Bella. The girl who you were just thinking about."

"I can only tell you what she told me. Are you sure that the Bella you are looking for is here Edward? I'd hate to have to rent this place out and move if you're wrong."

"I don't know Esme…but we didn't break the treaty with anything we did…and the phone calls were all harmless. I don't think Emmett even tried to scare anyone."

"You let Emmett call?"

"He didn't give anyone else a choice in the matter, something about a refrigerator. It won't happen again, I apologize."

"Don't apologize Edward, I want you to find love and happiness; just be careful where you go looking for it."

"I promise Esme, I just wish there was a way to go over there and see for myself."

"Maybe there is a way. They have come to our home twice now. I don't see why you can't go to there borders and request an audience. Maybe tell them that you would like to apologize for the phone calls? Surely they can not be too upset with an apology."

"Maybe, I'll see what the rest of the family thinks."

"You don't need there permission, but I do not think it would be safe to go alone."

"Maybe."

I left it at that and stood up before moving over to her and giving her a brief hug with a short simple kiss on the forehead. She smiled as I moved toward the stairs and up to my room where I knew Alice and Jasper where waiting for me. As soon as I would enter Rose and Emmett would also appear and then they would all be back to debating my sanity.

I made a stop in front of Rose and Emmett's door tapping lightly knowing that they weren't busy doing anything in particular before heading to my room and opening the door where Alice's fingers moved over my music and Jasper sat on my couch watching her.

"You can't have any healthy obsessions can you Edward?"

My eye brows scrunched together as I looked at Alice and then rolled my eyes looking over to Jasper. My music was not an obsession, but I knew that argument would have to wait another day. Alice's mind was presently brewing with ideas and possibilities to convince me to just 'drop' the whole thing. But I wasn't budging I had to find a way to get over there, and Esme was right…I can go…I just can't cross there borders.

I took a seat on the edge of my couch next to Jasper as he scooted over an inch to make room for Emmett's massive form. Alice must have warned him that they would be joining us. Like clock work the door reopened and the other happy couple moved swiftly into the room leaving the door wide open, not that I had secrets but something always felt more secure about a closed door.

Emmett plopped down onto my couch possibly causing one of the springs in the cushion to make its best attempt at popping out as Rose moved closer to the window crossing her arms and studying the outside. She didn't like the fact they had been so close to the house without anyone but Esme here.

I felt regret instantly not realizing that I had not even thought of that. What if something had happened while we were all gone? Was Alice watching the house during school or did I have her to preoccupied searching for Bella? I couldn't bare the guilt that was brewing and I was thankful when I felt Jasper wrap a calmer more approachable emotion around me.

"You can not be serious Edward…are you really considering going to the borders and fake apologizing? What if they see right through you? Are you trying to piss them off?"

"No Alice, I'm not…and how can they tell whether I am lying or not. I don't even have to mention her name, I could just read there minds."

"It's not fair."

"And please tell me Alice what's not fair."

"I can't see, but you can still hear them."

Alice made a fake pouting gesture as Rose turned and gave me a very disgusted look. I knew she didn't want any part of it, but that wasn't what the look was for. She was mad because she feels that I had dragged Emmett in, and he was more than willing to offer a fake apology just to get closer to there borders.

Jasper was another story, he wanted to go only to make Alice happy; his plan was that if he went and offered his 'help' she would stay behind with Rose. I admired him for wanting to keep my sister safe, but whatever happened to him being my best friend? I remember saving his life many years ago, didn't he owe me at least one?

"Rose, I promise I will drop it after this, well if nothing comes of this I will drop it. But Esme has a good point and it wouldn't hurt anything to go and apologize."

"Edward, we have no business over there. I agree with Alice, why can't you let things be and why can't you find a healthy obsession."

"Rose can you even define obsession?"

Her glare was enough to tell me that she could in fact define the word and plenty of other words that she was presently throwing in my direction. Emmett snorted but looked over to his defiant wife with a weird mix of admiration in his eyes. Though rarely did they actually agree he always trusted her decisions and was completely content with how feisty she was.

"Edward, you know I'll go, but you also know my reasons. I agree with the women…you really should let this go."

I peered down at Jasper and stood up from the couch making my way to stand on the other side of the room. I wanted a good look at the family that stood before me. I felt torn, the only person who actually agreed that we should go was Emmett, and it was just an exciting joke to him. He was of course planning on staying on his best behavior but not really looking at my interest in the matter, if so he'd probably side with Rose and the rest of them.

"Rose you and Alice both know that she was there in the woods when you handed over the treaty. And you know that the girl that came her today was not her."

"No Edward, I don't know what the girl who showed up while we were all at school looked like. I do know that it doesn't matter if it was Bella or not because the fact of the matter is that Esme could have been hurt and what if that girl the one you claim isn't Bella was delivering a message for her?"

"It wasn't her. I've seen the images, the memories; I know it wasn't her Rose."

"It doesn't matter Edward, what if something goes wrong?"

"I won't let anything happen."

"And you do not know what they are capable of, we've never encountered these people before…the only things we know is that they stink and look like over grown mutts."

I was getting no where with her, I knew I wouldn't…her mind was set in stone and rarely did Rosalie ever change her mind based upon my opinions. It always took Carlisle or a very quiet discussion with Emmett to get her to lighten up. I had no idea how he was capable of doing it…but he did occasionally change her opinion on things.

"Rose would you feel more comfortable if you came with us? So that you can see with your own eyes that it will be a simple apology and nothing else will happen?"

"Hold on, if I can't go…Rose can't go!"

I glanced over at Alice as Jasper shot me a speak and you die look. I didn't tell Alice she couldn't go, Jasper told Alice she couldn't go. But I wasn't going to test his already over protective foul mood. That was a problem she was going to need to take up with Jasper and I could already see the arguments between them and this matter building. Each time Jasper thought of how to 'put it nicely.' Alice's vision flared and her glare increased until she stood up looked down at Jasper and placed her small little hands over her hips as she used to do when she stood up to me.

"Jasper, I love that you are protective of me but I am going. If you really think one of should stay behind and watch the house then you can do that…obviously you think you are more capable than I am anyways."

"I did not say that."

"But you were going to."

He didn't have a rebuttal ready for that one; you can't argue with Alice…she is always right. Instead he let out a hefty sigh and turned his gaze back to me where his thoughts trailed over the several different things I would probably let him to do to me if something happened to her. I simply nodded my head in agreement and turned my focus back to Rose waiting for her response. Whether they agreed with me or not she was the only one not on board with going out there so far and the very balance of my existence was somehow teetering on her decision.

"Fine, we'll all go."


	14. Dawn of my Presence

**Dawn of my Presence**

**I do not own.**

Today was the day, it was rainy of course, but the sun was shining across the state to me. I was going to find out for sure the who, what, or where of my issues pertaining to Bella. I needed her like an addicted needed their favorite drug and the rest of the family was finally on board.

Carlisle had arranged a meeting for us to discuss the treaty in further detail, I had a list of questions just in case but I didn't really plan on asking them anything, I was simply going to listen and listen carefully for Bella. I felt like a stalker but what man in love doesn't? Don't we all over obsess on the unknown until we find out our own truth?

Alice had made sure to dress all of us in case we did see Bella; she wanted to make a good impression. I on the other hand was not worried about the clothes, I just wanted to see her and fill her beneath my finger tips. The thought of that alone had my mind spinning into a violet circle of the possibilities.

"Are you ready?"

I practically yelled up the stairs to the rest of my family who was taking their sweet and precious time while I was a bundle of anxiety and nerves. I had promised that if there was no sign of my Bella being there that I would drop it and move on; easier said than done but I was a man of my word. It was the only thing I had left and to some people my word probably meant nothing, but to my family it meant everything and I was not about to disappoint them after moving this far forward.

They began their trail down the stairs each wore a smirk but it was Jasper's thoughts that caught my attention. His previous warnings of Alice's safety only continued to get more and more aggressive as the day approached, and now that we were on our way I was wondering if we would even make it there. I frowned at him but held my head high. I would never let harm come to any of them and he had to know that.

I turned my head just as Emmett jingled his keys from by the front door. I hadn't even realized that I was staring directly at Jasper this whole time while he contemplated Alice's safety and my sanity. I moved towards the front door and brushed past everyone else silently moving towards the Jeep anxious to get this over with.

Rose climbed into the passenger seat as she always did when riding in Emmett's Jeep while Jasper and Alice took the last two seats next to me in the back. I placed my elbow next to the window and leaned my head over my fist so that I could stare out the window instead of focusing on the traffic of thoughts within the Jeep.

The Jeep hummed to life as Emmett drove away from the house; his thoughts were simple and focused on the task at hand while Rosalie was consumed with her vain thoughts over whether Bella would be pretty enough. Alice and Jasper were in there own little world of 'I love you's' furthering my jealousy over the relationship they had, I wanted it and couldn't understand Jasper's aggression to keep me away from it.

The forest was thick and my eyes began to focus on the trees where it appeared we had escorts, the closer we got to the dog's territory the more of them that I would spot running in the woods along the Jeeps side. I sat up straight and nudged Jasper with my elbow pointing towards the woods with my eyes. He nodded his head and tapped Emmett on the shoulders moving his head towards the windows. All of our gazes were now following the escorts through the woods as they ran along the side of us.

"Do you think they intend to fight?"

I pulled my gaze from the window over to Emmett who didn't sound concerned more like excited about the thought of having to fight those kids. I shook my head and rolled my eyes as Jasper leaned back in his seat and placed a hand over Alice's leg. He was concerned, not about the dogs watching us, but about Emmett being so eager.

"Emmett, we are not here to start a fight."

"I know that Eddie, but what if they do…shouldn't we go over a battle tactic."

"Sure Emmett, how about this, if they attack… protect the family."

"I'm not stupid Eddie."

I sighed and scooted my body closer to the center consul of the Jeep. Rose titled her head in my direction letting her thoughts flood my mind about how Emmett was right and we should be prepared. I wasn't an idiot either, and I seriously doubted that they wanted to fight.

"Look guys, from what I can tell from the thoughts I have picked up so far is that they don't want to fight unless they have to protect their own. Go in there with the same thing in mind, protect, not instigate."

I gave Emmett a pointed glance as we pulled off to the side of the road and began to off road trip through the woods. We were all meeting in the same clearing that the rest of the family had met with them before; call it neutral territory as far as they were concerned.

The Jeep pulled to a stop and climbed out brushing the jacket I was wearing smooth and free of wrinkles while the rest of the family climbed out. It probably would have been faster to run, but we had to uphold the image of 'normal' and 'normal' people aren't seen running through the woods in the middle of the night.

I pulled the collar of my jacket up and immediately held my breath. The foulest yesterday's trash smell flared through my nostrils as many thoughts invaded my mind. They had someone here to speak for them, but were unsure of her motives and I couldn't hear her thoughts. My breathing stopped when the one they call Jacob stepped forward out of the woods with my Bella climbing off of his back.

I focused my eyes to the ground and nudged Alice with my foot as her eyes moved to where mine had been and faint frown turned into a smile. She moved forward quickly, much too quickly for Jasper's liking as he growled in frustration, but Alice simply shushed him with a wave of her hand and approached Bella in a way that I was too scared to do.

"You must be Bella, we met before."

"I am. We want to know why you have called us here."

Look at me! Her eyes never moved from Alice's and I could see her jaw line clench as her hands moved into her pockets. Her scent was different, it was floral with the slightest hint of strawberries, and she looked exactly the same all the way down to her beautiful almond shaped chocolate brown eyes.

I moved closer to Alice standing on the right side of her as Jasper moved to Alice's left. Emmett and Rosalie moved behind us and I watched as their eyes never left the woods, they were being prepared; they were ready for anything if something wrong happened. I slid my hands into my jacket pocket and cleared my throat forcing Bella to look at me, and when she did I felt my world shake within me.

"Bella."

"You look familiar."

Just familiar? My world shook again but only because the longing within me wanted to reach out and remind her of who I was hoping that she wouldn't fault me for what I was but knowing that was impossibility.

"What are you?"

My eyes shot over to Jasper who was staring at Bella asking the one question I was dying to know but too afraid to ask, I knew she wasn't human because she should be old, yet she had a heart beat and I could smell the blood running through her veins.

"I don't think that is any of your business, who are you?"

"Jasper and I think it is our business. Do you remember Edward?"

Answer, please answer. But I had a feeling she wouldn't. Her gaze ran over me and there was a slight twinkle in her eye as multiple growls poured from the trees. I placed a hand over Alice's arm and took a step back pulling her with me knowing that Jasper would follow. The pack didn't appreciate the meeting nor did they appreciate Jasper's questions.

A soothing calm ran over my body probably affecting everyone else around us as Jasper moved an inch back but never dropped his gaze from Bella. My Bella was standing just a few feet from me silent but her eyes were calculating. And why couldn't I speak? I should be the one talking to her, not Jasper or anyone else for that matter.

"Have you five been the one's prank calling everyone looking for me?"

"That was my fault. And I wanted to apologize, I just…"

My voice trailed off as a young boy with long black hair named Jacob stepped out from the woods. I blinked to make sure I was still seeing right because just a few minutes ago he was a large dog, now he was a human wearing a pair of jeans and no shoes. His black beady eyes locked on to my own as his thoughts ran along the lines of this conversation being deathly over with.

"Why are you looking for Bella? Like she would want anything to do with you blood suckers."

Rosalie stuck her arm in between myself and Alice and weaseled herself into the front lines. Part of me wanted to stop her, but the other part was ready to rip this Jacob to shreds for her.

"Look here pup, we are not here to start any problems, and Bella and Edward have a history you're probably too young to know even existed so back off, this does not concern you."

"What happens here does concern me blood sucker."

Rosalie growled as another wave of calm brushed over me and Jasper motioned for Emmett to grab his wife before she started a war. Alice ignored everyone and moved closer to Bella placing her hand over Bella's arm and looking directly into her eyes. I felt jealous again for the relationship that my sister was already building with her, the one I was still too afraid to approach.

"Bella, come with us, just to talk…Edward has a lot of questions and I promise you will be able to return home unharmed. I can see though that we will be good friends if you come with us."

"I can't."

My eyes dropped to the ground partly because I should have been the one asking but was too much of a coward to and partly because I knew she would say no, she was with them…and we were not exactly on good terms with any of them…but I knew she wasn't one of them, her scent was too beautiful to be even part of what they were.

"Edward, Jesus, give it up, she is obviously not worth it."

That comment by Rosalie shot through my mind and jolted me back to life; I stopped playing with the loose thread on the inside of my jacket pocket and pulled my arms across my chest as I glared at Rosalie.

"Don't tell me who is or isn't worth it Rose."

"She wants nothing to do with you Edward!"

"Then let her tell me that, I've been searching for her since I left thirty years ago at least let me have her tell me to go then I'll go and never come back!"

"Go."

Bella's voice was like the saddest melody crashing over my skin. She had just said it, she didn't want to talk… she simply said 'Go.' Alice moved away from her mimicking my frown as I turned and walked back to the Jeep. I didn't say goodbye farewell or question her. I would respect her decision…and take a lot of crap from my family for it.

Everyone else huffed as they climbed into the Jeep and it roared to life. I noticed that Alice was apologetic; Rose was bent on 'I told you so.' Emmett felt sorry for me and Jasper was simply in shock that I backed away so quickly. What else was I supposed to do? Argue with her; tell her that I had loved her for years? She didn't want to hear any of that, and yet the question still plagued my mind… what is she?

"Don't worry Edward, we have school in a few hours… then you'll have something else to be upset about."

"I'm not going to school Emmett. If the teachers ask, tell them I have the flu."

The rest of the ride was silent, I made my way up the stairs and too my room where the house felt crowded yet so lonely. I stared out of my window playing my cd's in a random order letting the crickets take over while the rest of the family went hunting to prepare for school tomorrow.


	15. Lost in Translation

**Lost in Translation**

**I do not own.**

Pages floated under my fingers as I sat in Carlisle's office doing my own type of research. I was going to leave Bella alone just as she had asked of me. My heart had shattered into a million pieces but I would respect her wishes. The only things is, I had to at least know what she was and why.

Carlisle's office was the best place to try and research for what Bella was. He was the oldest out of us all and he had kept hold of a lot of books from his many travels. A lot of history on our kind and the kinds of others were scattered across the room in pages I had left open for further research. The internet was tedious and hard to decipher what might be useful versus what people had just made up. There was way too much stuff made up and completely incredulous on the internet.

Though, the computer stayed lit up from my last venture through the World Wide Web I didn't see myself finding the answer there. The rest of the family was out hunting in the vast amounts of woods that trailed behind our house. It was the perfect time for some peace and quiet. I wasn't going to go to school today, in just a few hours everyone would come home to change clothes and leave again while I stayed here and dived into another boring tale about vampires.

I had a scrap piece of paper with the word Bella written across the top in big bold letters. Little facts about her pale cold skin, or the smell of the blood that trickled through her veins, but nothing of value to point me in the right direction. The way she didn't seem to age since the last time I saw her, or the way her hair also seemed the exact same length.

Though back in the seventies I was looking through the dull eyes of a human, I could still picture her perfection through the glow of moon lit room. And everything from then to now seemed exactly the same. How could a human remain the same? I let out a deep unwanted sigh when I heard Alice and Jasper arrive back earlier than the rest of the family.

I gritted my teeth when their thoughts trailed up to my location and I sat back with my arms crossed when they both made the decision to come and talk to me yet again about Bella. I sat here silently waiting for their ambush and was not surprised at all when the office door swung open to reveal two sets of golden eyes staring at me like a child who was supposed to be in time out.

"Edward, Jasper and I won't stop you…we're curious too…but have you checked the possibility that she is one of them? I mean she could be a werewolf, we don't know enough about them to rule that out."

I was going to immediately start arguing and instead changed my attitude; it wasn't either one of their faults that I was in this predicament. And I could use any help or support from my family that I could get.

"Alice, I see you point, but you're missing one thing. Her scent is nothing like theirs, she smells floral instead of like last year's trash."

"Maybe it's because she is female? Why don't we search out that avenue Edward?"

I shrugged my shoulders and tossed Alice a book that Carlisle had been given by an older vampire named Casius. Casius was part of the Volturi royalty, vampires didn't exactly have a government but if we were ran by someone or followed a rule set by anyone it would have been the Volturi. They went to war several years ago with the werewolves practically making their species extinct and Casius and written his own book on their kind. If Alice wanted to research them she was more than welcome to it.

Alice took the book in her one hand while she guided Jasper through the mounds of papers and books on the floor over to the couch where they both sat down. I knew she wasn't much for reading historic type books so it didn't surprise me when she handed the book over to Jasper and he began flipping through the many pages for her.

Her eyes studied my own before her hand extended out; she knew I was about to hand her another reference book, so I did…it's not like her prediction was wrong, it just still kind of irked me when she did things so silent and expectantly.

After handing Alice another one of Carlisle's books I dived back into the book I presently reading. It was based more on the myths of vampire's listings with bullet points that lacked in the details department if you asked me. It appeared to be a book that should have still been in the process of writing or stuck on the internet with those strange web sites I had found earlier.

"They're not werewolves."

I looked up at Jasper as Alice closed the book she was reading and turned to face him. Although she knew what he was about to say or uncover she pretended to be interested for my sake.

"They don't fit the profile. Werewolves can only change during a full moon…and from what this says they are pretty much extinct and only really populated the European areas. I don't think they are werewolves at all."

"What do you think they are then Jasper?"

"I'm not sure; Carlisle doesn't have a species book around here?"

I just shrugged my shoulders if he did I didn't know about it and if I did know something like that existed in this room well I wouldn't be sitting here rummaging through books that are older than the dirt under this house.

Alice turned her head back to me with a sly smile written across her face, her thoughts flittered between Jasper and I and whether or not we even bothered to ask Carlisle if such a book existed. I was close to Carlisle so I knew about pretty much every book in his office, surely there couldn't be one as important to my research as that without me knowing about it.

"Neither one of you bothered to ask him did you?"

She knew the answer, why she had to ask was beyond my understanding. Jasper shook his head as his eyes moved back down to the pages within the book. He began reading again as did I. Alice stood up from her seat and navigated around the room again before leaving out of the office door. I followed her thoughts down the stairs and into the living room where Carlisle and the rest of the family were just arriving. Alice's gift gave her perfect timing for every situation.

She didn't ask him anything in front of the rest of family, it was best not to get Rosalie riled up again. Rosalie couldn't understand my obsession with Bella, she thought Bella was plain and ordinary compared to her, it would never cross her mind that any male or female species could worship someone more than they worshiped her. Jasper was immune to Rosalie's spite because he and Alice were completely meant for each other in her eyes. Jasper with his scars and Alice with her quirky attitude, they were polar opposites but perfect for each other.

I set the book that I was looking at down on the ground with the rest of the pile of books and looked over to Jasper who was deep into the book he was reading. Jasper loved history so even if the research he was doing was of no use to me, he would still find it completely captivating.

Alice bound through the room with Carlisle on her heels. He stopped at the door for a second and surveyed the mess that I made in his office before moving to his desk and taking a seat in the large chair behind it. His arms stretched in front of him as his fingers intertwined themselves and his hands laid palms down on the desk.

He looked like he was awaited a commentary ambush from either myself or Alice. No one in the room looked particularly worried about Jasper because well, he probably didn't even really notice what we were doing around him, that book must have been more interesting than I had given it credit for.

"So, why is my office a mess and why did Alice pull me up here? Is there something I can help you with?"

"Alice wanted me to ask if you had a list of the different species that had been encountered over time in one location."

"I might, why is it of importance?"

"I'm trying to find out what Bella is, which has turned into Alice and Jasper trying to find out what those wolves really are."

"Are they not werewolves?"

"Not according to Jasper, they don't fit the profile. They can change without a full moon and are supposed to be extinct, to top it off they are only known to have existed in the European areas."

"Interesting."

I waited after his 'interesting' comment. I got the slight impression from his thoughts that he was holding out on some possibly important situation. His mind rummaged through scenario's that I could possibly date back to the eighteen hundreds when he lived with the Volturi.

I waited exactly fifty six seconds in silence before he began typing on his computer and then stopped. His eyes trailed over the page before his fingers stopped and ran over another line twice and then he stood up. I followed his thoughts to a back section of his book collection where he pulled out a brown and golden leather bound book and walked back to his desk.

The book had a leather strap running across the front of it and appeared to be more of an old journal than of a published book. But then again, Carlisle was old and books back then came in all kind of shapes and forms. The only the same about them where the scent they carried and language that was sprawled across the pages. Every book Carlisle had in his office was translated at some point in time to English, by him personally I suppose.

"Edward, did Bella ever tell you any part of her past? It might help with my search."

"Her family owned a hotel in California that she claimed to not be able to leave; her mother went crazy and started hearing things before she killed herself in a horrible way in the back court yard of the hotel. Her father drank himself to death and there was some myth about the place being haunted by a beast of some sort."

That's the most that my human memories could tell me of our conversation. I remember finding the story to have loop holes but it was also interesting. So much for her not being able to leave, though we were only a few states away, we were definitely not in California.

"Did she tell you anything about the beast? Maybe it's not so much a myth after all?"

"I can't remember. The memories of our conversation that night are a little hazy."

"How did her mother kill herself?"

"I don't remember."

"How old was Bella when this happened? Were these her real parents?"

"I don't remember Carlisle."

"Sorry son, I know this might be hard, but I need to know as much as I can about Bella if I am going to find out what she is for you."

I was beyond frustrated and not with Carlisle, I knew he was just trying to help; I was more frustrated with myself. I couldn't remember hardly anything of importance about the woman I claimed to love and here I was trying to find out her secrets without her permission.

"Don't forget about the werewolves Carlisle."

"I haven't forgotten them Alice, and I am pretty sure I already know what they are."

His smile ran from ear to ear as he glanced over at Jasper who had finally looked up from his book. His curiosity on the wolves was peaked now that he had a bit of the werewolves' history fresh on his mind. He looked around the room expectantly waiting for Carlisle to pour out the information while he ran a finger down the sides of the pages within the book. That would have given a human a paper cut, but for us… it possibly just sharpened the edges of the pages.

"If they are not were wolves Jasper than the only other thing that history has provided us for them to be is shifters. There was a man a very long time ago who was said to take on the shape of the wolf. Maybe they are his ancestors, but they would have the deeper details of that history than I would have in any of my books. It was really followed up on because the man was not considered a threat to us."

"Could Bella be a shifter?"

"I don't know Edward, I guess it's a possibility, but the two don't seem to be the same do they?"

"They don't."

"Well what else can you tell me about Bella?"

I picked up the scrap piece of paper I had scribbled my useless facts on and tossed it in the air towards Carlisle. The thin paper glided across the room fluttering through the air until it landed on the corner of the desk and Carlisle pulled it closer to him with the tips of his fingers.

"She seems to have a lot of our features, never aging, cold skin, and pale. But she has blood that runs through her veins. Have you had any good leads or ideas?"

"Nothing, everything in here is from one extreme to the next, there is no middle ground for our species within these books."

"I would think that 'middle grounds' as you put it, would not be in those books. Maybe Bella is something so rare that it has not been written about. Though, I don't see the Volturi not writing about it unless it was not a threat or something that they had found any value in. They are meticulous about history that way. But there is something about everything… you'll have to look at the small things, everything is at least mentioned once."

I could tell that Carlisle was very interested now, uncovering the truth of a new species would give him something else to research and look further into, but I wouldn't allow Bella to be a test object. He knew that, I could see it in the crease of his eye brows, the way the gold irises sparked with enthusiasm but then faded with compassion.

"Why don't you start with ghost stories Edward? Maybe there is a mention of her that was just over looked because no one believed the story."

"That's a good idea Alice."

Jasper smirked as he stood up and moved closer to Alice extending his hand so that they could have some alone time before they headed off to school. It had become a ritual between the two of them to spend two hours before school alone so that Jasper could clear his mind and focus on not killing the student body that attended Forks High School. Alice smiled and took his hand as they both nodded in Carlisle's direction and left the office.

"Edward, I would like to stay and help, but I have to be at the hospital and should be leaving soon. Maybe tonight we can go over whatever you discover?"

"Yea, that sounds fine."

And then I was alone again in the office waiting for the drones of thoughts occupied by my family to once again leave the house. Esme would probably remain down stairs or in her room designing yet another beautiful house somewhere else in the world while I stayed silently to myself researching old ghost stories that would prove to be more on the comedic side than helpful, but Jasper was right about Alice being right…it was a good place to start.


	16. Sacrifice

**Sacrifice**

**I do not own.**

**Jacobs Point of View**

"What's with the long face?"

I turned my head from the video game that I was playing and looked over to Bella through the corner of my eye as she took a seat on the couch. I had not seen in her a few days since we last met with the Cullen's. After she asked those blood suckers to leave she just disappeared also, now I wonder if she had been hanging out with them the whole time…but she didn't smell like them. So now, I was just confused.

I paused the game and turned around to face her in my swivel chair that Billy had gotten me on my birthday. There were tiny black speakers built into the overstuffed probably over priced black leather, but it fit me and made playing games that much more comfortable.

"My face is no longer than its usual length, where have you been?"

"I had to take some personal time, you know girl things."

"Girl things huh, would it have anything to do with that weird conversation that you never explained with the Cullen's would it?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe is not a good enough answer Bella. What the hell were those blood suckers talking about?"

"Jacob, I don't want to think or talk about it right now. Can we change the subject?"

"Nope."

"Look, it's really no one's business…and it needs to be left in the past."

"How far in the past?"

"Look, if you're not going to drop it I can just leave."

"No you look Bella, I have argued tooth and nail with everyone here about how you're different but it's none of their business, I cannot keep protecting you if you keep having all of these damn secrets. I get it right, really I do…everyone's got a secret… but you are carrying a trunk of secrets."

"And they need to stay that way."

I had never heard Bella really raise her voice until just now when she spoke. I saw nothing in her eyes; the warm chocolate brown was replaced with a coal black that made me even more curious as to what the hell I was dealing with. She was my best friend but she needed to come clean on a few things, I wasn't asking her to make an announcement but at least I needed to know so that I could protect her.

I stood up quickly using my speed to try and catch her off guard. She had stood up with her back turned to me and was heading towards the front door. I was not about to let her leave without this conversation being finished. She had done that too many times and enough was enough.

I placed my hand on her shoulder and pulled her back gently, her head twisted slightly as her eyes shot daggers into my face and her hand moved to mine, it seemed that her speed was quicker than a normal human, another item for me to add to the freaky shit that Bella does.

She was fast enough that I didn't even feel my body flying in the air until I had actually hit the wall of my house. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair as I stood up and questioned my sanity on not changing right then and there. Who knew she was so strong also? There was a lot more to her than she had been letting on and now I wasn't confused I was getting pissed.

"What the fuck Bella?"

"Don't curse at me and just let me leave."

"You just threw me across the living room…"

"Jacob, I'm leaving."

"No, you are going to sit your ass down and start talking Bella, don't make me force you."

A deep sadistic chuckle escaped her lips as she shook her head and turned towards the door again. I couldn't shift now, not without alerting the entire pack of what was going on; and as mad as I may be with Bella right now, she was still my best friend and I didn't want the world to know her secrets until she was ready to tell them herself.

She placed her hand on the front door and threw open before stepping out on the front porch. I followed silently behind her, and in the first time in I don't know how many years we had been friends I got a creepy chill that she knew exactly where I was and how much pressure I had been putting on each foot. The more I was seeing in this very moment the less I liked and something told me that if I kept pushing I was going to see a lot more.

Her movements took on a different pace than what I had experience in the few seconds that she had let her true self come out; I didn't know whether this argument was over in my head or not at the present time. I wanted to demand answers, but was right her and right now the right place to do that? Surely I had been known to cause a scene but wasn't it Bella who normally calmed me down with a single touch of her cold fingers? We were like fire and ice, but at this moment… I felt like I needed more from her.

I know nothing about her kind, or what evil past she is trying so desperately to keep hidden, it's not like I would judge her, and we all had our own little quirks. But she wouldn't even give me an inch. She knew everything about me, I held no secrets from her and yet I still can't win.

I followed her out on to the porch and over to the dirt road where she continued walking at a slow human pace, though I was beginning to lean towards the obvious choice that she was not human, I don't know what kind of sacrifice it must be for her to tell me these secrets, but I wasn't worried about any kind of danger to myself or the tribe, we had things covered pretty tightly around here.

She could let me in, I could be her warmth, but she held back…and that was not fair to either one of us. I mentally began kicking myself for sounding like a selfish pansy that was in love with the girl, but the fact of the matter was she was my best friend, and the closest any girl had ever gotten to me, so she must understand to some degree why I feel the need to have this information.

I stopped trying to convince myself to have her sacrifice her secrets and let me have my peace of mind, instead I opted to follow her wherever she was heading to, I knew that I could find that fire in her eyes; I was willing to go all the way, but each step she took in another direction my mind scream get away from me… please.

When I first met Bella, her beauty took the breath right out of me. And when I didn't feel that pull that my brothers had described when they found there one it broke my heart and left a hole where it once was. I figured she was still something worth fighting for…we could be friends and make it through this.

Then when she discovered what I was…I have to admit that I was slightly worried that I could be the death of her. Too add salt to my already opened wound my brothers didn't like her, not her personality but the weird quirks that surrounded her. So I stuck up for her in the same way she defended out friendship when I told her to leave because I could hurt her. She laughed at me then, and would probably laugh at me now if she could read my mind.

"Bella let me in."

"Jacob, I can't just let you in…it's complicated."

"What's the big deal? I'm different…I know your different I just don't know how much different you are."

Bella turned on her heal and headed into the woods. Once we were in clearance of the trees her pace quickened and her breathing became so silent I was almost positive that she had stopped breathing period.

"Is it because of what I am?"

Her body stopped moving as her head turned in my direction and her eyes once again pierced through me. This wasn't the fire I was used to, this wasn't the playful about to get me Bella, this was a more serious Bella who wasn't about to budge. There was a look of guilt and pain across her face before she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Jacob, I'm waiting for you to realize and start hating me. I don't care what you are but you will care about me."

"You're right."

"I am?"

"Yes, except for one minor detail, I already do care about you Bella, you take my breath away and you are my best friend. Look, I understand that we have been over this whole we can't be a couple thing…but I still care about you and that matters, so what's the big deal in telling your best friend your secrets? That's what I am supposed to be here for right?"

"Jacob you won't understand."

"I won't because you won't let me. Shit Bella stop with the bull shit and just spit it out!"

I know I should have raised my voice, but the growl that came from her when I again tried to bring her slightly closer to me was something I didn't even expect to escape her lips. She was so delicate looking. Lesson learned looks are not what they seem.

Her hands came up and slammed against my chest as I went flying towards a tree. She almost advanced on me, I saw the hesitation in her footsteps but she stopped. What in the world was with her? I didn't smell blood so this couldn't be her time of the month, and I didn't feel that I had been crossing any lines.

"Bella, what the fuck…do that again and we are going to have a real fight."

She laughed, she out right laughed at me before she turned to again walk away. To shift or not to shift was the only thought running across my mind at the present time. How important was finding out her secret to me? Was it worth the friendship that we had built up over the years? Then again, what kind of friendship did we have if she couldn't be one hundred percent honest with me?

I took a step closer to her before my mind moved into another direction and the rustle of leaves underneath my feet made Bella stop, her head turned slightly as she glanced at me through the corner of her eye.

"Bella, you are going to stay here and work this out with me. No more secrets and no more just walking away when you feel like it."

"Jacob now is not a good time for me."

"It's as good of a time as any Bella, you got to stop running."

"I'm not running, clearly I am walking away and I suggest that you stop following me."

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"Then let me take you home…we can talk there."

"Jacob I am not having this discussion with you."

"Bella, yes you are."

"You don't want to fight with me Jacob, please just leave it alone."

Now it was my turn to laugh, she may have had strength but I was stronger, and she may have been quicker than I originally thought, but I was quicker. One eye brow quirked on her delicate oval shaped face as I continued to laugh at her assumption about fighting with me. She wouldn't hurt me, and I would make sure I didn't hurt her, if it came to that.

"Bella, I don't want to fight, so I suggest you take the easy road and just spit it out."

"You can be really cocky sometimes, you know that?"

"What? You think you can take me? Prove it princess."

I shifted quickly which would probably cause me some muscle pain later but it was worth it to see the surprised look on her face as I slammed into the side of her knocking her to the ground successfully. I placed my hands on the tops of her shoulders applying a gentle pressure to let her know that she was pinned.

Bella smirked right before she growled and pushed on my chest throwing me back into the air. I landed on the hard dirt surface with a thud but didn't stay there long enough to see what she had planned next. The rest of the pack was fully aware of my shifting, but I kept the thoughts detailing the reasons to myself. I simply sent out a warning to leave me alone and to stay away. Being able to link our thoughts together was a great defense if we ever had to go into battle, but right now it was a nuisance.

Bella had lifted herself off the ground and crouched into a waiting position for me to attack her again. I could see her muscles coil under her shirt as the jeans she wore barely stretched enough to give her the leg room she needed to properly defend herself. At least now I knew who my new sparring partner would be, if she could take a hit like that I should at least teach her how to defend herself properly if needed. Not now of course, now I had to prove that she wasn't as bad ass as she thought she was.

I leaned all of my weight forward as I ran towards planning to slam into her but she side stepped me, definitely quicker than I thought she was. I couldn't really provide any commentary past the few growls or howl I had already, but I knew that she knew me well enough to know that I was talking shit. I could see it in her eyes as she watched me.

Each time I took a step closer and prepared to attack her again she moved just inches out of my reach. I was beginning to get frustrated, I felt like a damn fool trying to catch a chicken like the little kids on the ranch would. This was ridiculous and I could not be out done by Bella of all people. It was a large gouge to my ego.

I rushed on her again but this time she didn't just moved out of the way. Instead one small foot stepped onto my leg as her other leg wrapped around my waste and head came dangerously close to my neck. She paused as her hands moved to ears and suddenly a lot of really strange things began to make a lot of sense.

"Do you ever take a bath in this form Jacob? You stink…"

I began the process of shifting down; of course I would stink to her. She climbed off of me and took up the same stance before the rest of this had even begun. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest and her hip was cocked out with her foot nervously tapping against the ground. I knew, she knew I knew, and now she was nervous about what I was about to say to her. Was she still my Bella?

"Bella, how?"


	17. Desired

**Desired **

**I do not own.**

Three days after I started my search and I was already close to putting a lock on it and walking away. I knew more about the different species in this world than I did about myself at this present moment. Yet my eyes won't stop scanning over the pages, and my mind won't stop collecting and categorizing all the information.

Alice and Jasper spent most of their evenings researching the shifters, but still offering helpful insight on my search when it was needed…Jasper was more than curious about the shifters and what exactly they could shift into…he didn't like them being enemy's and so close to our new home, but he knew that Alice was not leaving…so his only other option was to prepare for the worst and at least know what he was up against.

We were in the same boat technically, except we were both preparing for different kinds of 'worse.' Then again, we were also preparing for the same 'worse.' If they started a war with my family, I would feel responsible, and therefore I would make sure that I was in front of those battle lines, it was my plan to at least give my family time to escape…what was a world with the knowledge that Bella existed and I couldn't have her anyways?

"What if she doesn't actually exist?"

"You mean Edward beat her into our heads so much we're all imagining her now?"

I smirked at the annoyance lacing Rosalie's tone as Alice simply shook her head from left to right and shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't thinking a figment of our imaginations, more like a ghost or something else entirely. Ghost would match my theory of angel, but I didn't dare mention it, I had suffered enough humiliation among my family to even breach that topic at this moment.

"No Rose, more like…a dimensional being? Maybe I'm not making sense…but what about a ghost of some sort…like a haunting."

"I can run with the whole haunting thing…it would make sense that we would all be tortured by his ghost."

Again, Roses tone had a hint of annoyance, but the fake smile never let her fake rosy cheeks. The things women did with make up completely astounded me. Emmett was down stairs with Jasper playing a game of chess that he was about to lose…and then he would be sulking with Rosalie somewhere… I was counting the seconds and praying Jasper would hurry this thing up already. Too bad he wasn't a mind reader.

"She does exist…"

Before I could retort my reasoning Alice had her own rebuttal, "and how do you know that?" She knew what I was originally going to say…that there was no doubt in my mind Bella was as real as the rest of us, that there was just something slightly different about her.

"Alice, look at the list, she has blood in her veins…that makes her human."

"Edward look at your own list, she's cold…like a dead girl."

"Ok, but she told me once that it was poor circulation."

I could picture it all in my mind, the argument between me and Alice going on until the list was emptied and we were both left with the same result. Bella wasn't human, but she wasn't a ghost either. I assume Rose had the same vision as I did because she stood up from the couch in the corner and walked over to the window in Carlisle's office. She pulled the curtain back slightly before turning around and focusing her gaze on Alice and I huddled across from each other and above the most recent set of books on the floor.

"You're both wrong, she's both… why can't it be that easy? She is alive but she is also dead."

"Rose, that's not possible."

"And why isn't it? Look at the facts that have been staring at all of you…she's both…dead and alive. Jesus if I could go grey it would be from listening to you two bicker over the obvious. Something's are not as complicated as you make them."

Emmett and Jasper's game was the most 'obvious' thing over with right now, besides my argument with Rosalie. She took Emmett's whining to Jasper downstairs over another loss as her time to move in and snatch him up. I could see that Rose was tired of the subject, and Emmett was the only one in the house not actively participating in my investigation.

So she left sending a gust of fresh air from the hall way into the stale room fluttering some of the pages on the ground as she passed by them. Alice looked at me and then back towards the door where she stood up with the full intentions of relieving her own stress with the topic and danced down the stairs to meet Jasper. I rolled my eyes and stuck my nose back where it belonged, in the books.

I remained huddled over the books for hours, see vampires never really lost track of time, but it kind of lost track of us. Either which way the thoughts down stairs centered over Rose and her belief now that Bella was both. Of course as soon as she had formed her own opinion on the matter she had to make it clear to everyone else where she stood. It was typical of her, the thing that I didn't get was how her 'obvious' decision made sense to them. It just wasn't possible and for them to accept it without question was crazy.

I closed another book and began the tedious process of picking up Carlisle's office. Ever since that first day of my research where I made the biggest mess he made a rule that I had to pick it up before he got home, that way if he wanted to also read or research he would be able to find his books. It made sense, so I didn't argue.

"Hey Edward, find anything interesting today?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I slid the last book onto the shelf in time for Carlisle to walk in to his office. He had just been debriefed by Rosalie in regards to guess what… her opinion on the subject of Bella. Though, what had me curious was his not so tactful approach of keeping his opinion on her opinion a secret from me. Carlisle had resulted to counting in his head in order to prevent his opinion from projecting to me.

I didn't know if this was due to the fact that he knew I didn't want to hear Rosalie's opinion on the matter anymore of if he was actually counting to see how long it would take me to crack and ask him about it. He could prevent her opinion from continuing…all he had to do was mention what we all already knew, or at least I did…that it wasn't possible.

"Alright, Carlisle…I'll give, what do you think about Rosalie's conclusion in the matters of Bella?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

His smile was wickedly mischievous but his stance told me that he didn't know which way to lean on the matter, so I was probably going to get a full discussion on both, why it could and why it couldn't be possible. This would then open up a family discussion that would lead to countless hours of arguing and brain storming. Did I want to open this can of worms or did I want to choose to agree to disagree and keep searching until I found the right answer?

"Follow me down stairs Edward, I think that since you have involved the whole family, they should have a say in this discussion as well."

"There went option A."

"What was that?"

"Never mind."

I know he heard me, Carlisle was simply choosing to ignore my bad attitude, which was fine, I preferred it to be ignored right now anyways. I didn't mean to lash out on him or anyone else in the family for that matter…every wrong answer eventually leads to the right one…so if an all out family meeting over everything we have all found out in the last few days was what was needed then I would participate to a degree.

I followed Carlisle down the stairs where Alice had already assembled everyone else in the dining room. Arms were folded across the table and eyes were on me or Rosalie waiting for the big debate to begin. I wasn't going to debate, but I was willing to compare theories, which in all honesty is a less heated debate anyways.

I took a seat at the center of the dining room table with Emmett, Rose and Jasper in front of me. Alice and Esme were at my sides as Carlisle took his position at the head of the table. I felt like I was stuck in that boring game show Family Feud just waiting for someone on the other side to ring the buzzer and begin.

"I'll start. Edward, I know that Rosalie can be difficult, but her theory about us looking past the obvious seems to be accurate, I mean what if she is both?"

"Jasper, how would that even be possible? You cannot be both dead and alive at the same time. You are either dead or alive."

"Not so fast Edward, we're all technically dead…but then again we are all technically alive also."

"Emmett, Bella cannot be a vampire."

"Why not dude?"

"Because blood runs through her veins."

Emmett shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in his chair rocking on the back two legs for support while one arm was slung across Rosalie's chair. I had now heard Jasper and Emmett's partial opinions in the matter. Now, I was waiting for the rest.

"Well, I kind of agree with you Edward, except, I also kind of agree with Rosalie. I don't see it possible to be dead or alive, I see ourselves as alive…the dead are buried or burned in my opinion. But I do think that there is something terribly obvious staring at us all and we just have seen it yet."

I loved Esme; she was as close to a mother as I was going to get right now, and sense I don't remember much about my actual parents, I loved her that much more. She brought me close to normality in the times that I needed it the most. But it was also very typical of her to pull the mother card and find a way to choose both sides.

"I agree with Esme, and I am now sure that Bella is not one of those shifters, she doesn't have the characteristics nor does she have that horrible smell, I honestly think I cannot see her future because she hangs out with them. Maybe if we could get her away I could see if she at least plans on telling us what she is."

"Alice, I don't see that as a possibility."

"Edward, why do you even bother? She made it pretty clear out there that she does not want you around."

Rosalie's words stung deep inside my chest but as soon as the anger began to boil and the hurt began to settle deep in my core Jasper sent a different emotion of happy and secure my way. I smiled gratefully at him knowing that I didn't want to explode on Rosalie that way.

"I just want answers now Rosalie, I will respect her wishes, but I feel I at least deserve an answer."

"That's it? That's what this is all about? A stupid freaking answer? The never ending riddle of Bella? And what happens when you get your answer Edward? Then will you finally leave it alone?"

I thought about Rosalie's outburst for a minute. She could believe that I had actually given up and would leave Bella alone. Her thoughts ran wild with my own obsession and then how easy it was for me to respect Bella's wishes to her own self satisfaction of how she was right, and how she always thought that Bella wasn't worth it. But she was, she was worth every ounce of me that I was allowed to give her…I just wasn't allowed to give her myself…she didn't want it.

"Bella is worth it Rosalie."

"That wasn't my question Edward."

"I'm going to respect her wishes."

"Fine, then I'll personally ask her what her problem is."

"You can't do that without starting a fight between us and them."

"I can too."

With that Rosalie stood up and headed out the back door. I was the only one who stood up after her looking at the rest of the family like they were crazy for not going after her before I took off to find out where she was going. I was not going to let my curiosity get anyone killed; even if it was their own stupidity that was causing it in the first place.

"Rose, wait!"

I knew I was close, her scent mingled with the expensive Italian perfume that she was wearing. I followed her into the woods which actually lead in the opposite direction from which I originally thought she would be running. She wasn't heading for the reservation. Clearly she was heading some place much farther than the reservation. I scanned the forest for her thoughts before I ran into her standing next to a tree with a smirk on her face.

"This is what I mean Edward, god you are so gullible."

"You ran out here to prove I would follow?"

"Yes, in a way it proves my point about you missing the obvious. Now why would I risk the family to find out information about Bella?"

"I thought you had lost your mind."

"Clearly you are thinking too much about this Edward."

"So now what? You've proven your point…but where do we go from here?"

"I didn't think that far ahead."

"I am beginning to wonder if you think at all sometimes."

"And what's that supposed to mean Edward?"

There was a snap in her voice meaning that I clearly found a button she didn't want me to push. Her eyes narrowed into slants and her hip cocked out slightly before there was rustling in the trees followed by a horrid stench that could only mean one thing. I didn't bother to ask who it was; I didn't need to…their thoughts told me everything I needed to know about that subject, the question that had been haunting me in regards to all topics of discussion these days was why.

"What do you want?"


	18. Selfish

**Selfish**

**I do not own.**

**Jacob's Point of View**

"I don't get it."

I looked over to Bella as the words stumbled out of my mouth. It was not that hard to imagine…but then again it was. There was a defiant tone in the back of my throat waiting to explode at the sheer possibility that she would return to him. But she wasn't…she didn't move, we had been sitting on this beach now for what felt like seconds but I knew it was hours that had passed us by. The sun had gone down and the moon dripped over the waters that crashed at our feet.

I would take her secret to the grave with me, I would protect her, though I was sure she didn't need my help...I was just sure that I would do anything but give her up to the blood suckers. They couldn't have her, they had already had more of her than I would ever be allowed to have and I wasn't giving up what small piece of Bella I had left. But the decision was her's.

"What don't you get Jacob?"

"Do you love him?"

She let out a drawn out sigh and dug the tip of her shoe deeper into the sand. I watched her head drop and her chin settle on her knees that had been pulled up in front of her chest. The wind carried around her hair making her appear to be more fragile in this very moment than she was when she told me how she thought of herself a monster. The end of it all, the outcast, the one who would never belong with anyone or anything; she really thought that no one would accept her. Pretty lame if you ask me, not only would every single idiot in the world…no wait…universe accept her, they would all love her and she would never know it.

"I've loved him since the first time I saw him."

"Then why are you here?"

"Would you still be my friend if I went to him? And what about when he finds out what kind of freak I am?"

"I couldn't be your friend Bella…you know that."

"My point exactly."

I didn't get her point; well I kind of got her point. She was willing to give up on the possibility that he would love her back to be my friend and I was selfish enough to let her do it. He wouldn't be good for her, she deserved better than a stupid blood sucker and his blood sucking family.

I could give her warmth, a family; they'd learn to love her…

"Plus this will give me time to think about how to tell him."

"Time to think? I'm just time to think?"

"Jacob…you'll die someday…I'll live forever, so will he…I'm staying with you because you are my best friend, but after you die, I'm going to go and find my own happiness."

Selfish…that's what I am.

"Do you think he'll still remember you then?"

"I don't know…I was surprised that he remembered me now."

"Why don't you avenge your family? Ya know… instead of looking for love. That's what I would do."

"You're always the violent one Jacob…looking for a challenge…what's done is done…and I don't know if I want my father knowing I'm alive. Too many questions ya know?"

"I'm not violent."

"Mischievous then."

Bella laughed as she shoved some of the sand on the beach towards me and shook her head. She seemed happy…right? These little things were just small bumps of sadness; I could overcome them and make her happy…just like right now, she was happy.

"Do you think your father is still alive?"

"I don't know… I guess so."

"So, he slept with your mother… your human father had to be scared shit less when you came out all blood and gory killing your mom. Then he became a drunk…remarried to a crazy woman who worshiped Satan…she killed herself, he eventually died from alcohol poisoning, you stayed at hotel not knowing where to go or what to do…issues if you ask me, and then you meet … him. So you leave and meet me…? Does that sound about right… am I missing anything or did I get it all?"

"For the most part… god Jacob, you make it sound worse than it really was."

"Too you…that shit is pretty fucking crazy if you ask me."

"I'm sorry Jacob."

"Sorry for what Bella?"

I could help the incredulous look that crossed my face, what the hell was she sorry for? She couldn't help the way she was created…or the way her parents acted… I think she did a pretty damn good job of taking care of herself…no apologize are necessary…right?

Right.

"I didn't want to burden anyone with this."

"Huh…"

Huh? I have just proven a point on idiocy…she's hitting the sad point again and all I can respond with is …'huh.' I mentally slapped myself before the not so subtle fact that he was still looking for her, and that he had not forgotten her, and he was still close…too close to her.

"So are you going to tell him…so that he can leave and we can be back to normal?"

"I don't know what or how to tell him."

"We can someone deliver a message."

"That seems wrong Jacob."

"Can you tell him yourself?"

"No."

"Then I'll go deliver a message for one of the blood suckers to talk with you so they can deliver the message."

Bella gave me an almost immediate crazy look before shaking her head 'no' and running her right hand nervously through her hair. I watched as she bit her bottom lip and then fixed her gaze on me.

"I don't think it can be that easy Jacob, do you think he'll still want to speak with me after that?"

"I want to tell you I care, but I want his family to leave more…and if he has any kind of 'leave' from you I'm sure he'll do it…you worth waiting for though if you ask me."

I meant it, I meant that she was worth waiting for, and even though the pit of my stomach turned violently at the thought that she was only here to watch me die and then go find him I still couldn't stop the selfish side of me from making her stay.

I couldn't be the stronger man and tell her to go where her heart really wanted to be, I was greedy enough to keep whatever part of her around me that I could. If she left I would have only a haunting memory of the friendship we had and even that would be laced with anger and hatred once she left.

"If I do this your way… I want to talk to the short pixie girl. She seemed really nice, and I think she might understand more. But you'll have to distract the rest….God Jacob; I don't think I can do this. Maybe I should just leave."

"What? No, you can't leave me Bella."

I didn't recognize my own pleaded voice, there was harshness in it, one I hadn't expected to use ever in my life. But something about her leaving for his benefit and not my own lit a fire deep inside me. Why couldn't she do it? What was so hard about it? It's not like she was waiting for him to die so that she could hang out with me… no she was going to wait for me to die so that she could run to him.

"Jacob, this is too hard."

"No Bella, it's not…look I'll distract him, you talk to the blood sucker and they'll leave. We'll go back to normal."

"Jacob this isn't normal…what if they really aren't like the rest? Could we all coexist?"

"No."

My voice had hardened to a whole new level. How could she ask me to coexist with a blood sucker? They don't preserve life and protect others, they hunt and kill them… now half of that was already running through my best friend, but I couldn't blame her for her stupid mother's choice. She was different and the only exception as far as I was concerned.

"Bella, if you go over there with any intent other than to make them leave you'll be starting a war, we'll have to kill them all."

"Are you threatening me Jacob?"

"No, but I am promising you they will die if you start this war."

Bella glared and then turned her head away from me. Her hair whipped behind her as she mumbled an 'alright' and stood up. I felt awful, but not awful enough to apologize. I had to do what was best for her and the reservation. I couldn't let their lives be at risk over something as unsure as though blood suckers.

"Let's go right now, the sooner the better."

"Jacob, I don't even know what to say…"

"Figure it out on the way."

I shifted and mentally let everyone know what was going on and what I was doing the minute I did. I trusted Bella but I didn't trust them, and in matters of the heart; I knew I couldn't completely trust myself. I was inches closer to having her to myself again, and I wasn't about to let anything step in between that.

I took off running only glancing back once or twice to make sure that she was still behind me. It would be easy, I'd make up some bull shit about the treaty and request to speak to Edward specifically… she would talk to the rest. Now the only question was how to get them into different locations.

I didn't have to think on that very long before another scent drifted and headed south into the woods. It had to be a couple of them. I looked back and noticed that Bella was already on a different path, she obviously picked up the same scent I did. She crossed around the trees and jumped on to a branch taking cover high above while I moved closer to the scent. The voices echoing off the patterns told me it was him. I nodded my head towards Bella and watched as she dove out of the tree and began running again. This had better not take very long.

"What do you want?"


	19. In the end

**In the End**

**I do not own.**

**Bella's Point of View**

I was angry, but years of repressing my anger had taught me to conceal it well. When Jacob had threatened the lives of the family I had hoped to join in the distant future...it was like stabbing a knife in the pit of my stomach. I knew better than to tell him the truth, I knew he wouldn't understand, but something made me do it, there was an unbreakable friendship between us, and no matter how rash or cruel he was…I loved him like a sister would a brother.

I am a half vampire half human, one of a kind… a mix breed with a horrible past and a future I choose not know more about than I already know. It starts with one thing, and I don't know why I try to avoid it. No matter how hard I push and pull myself I am never one thing, always two a monster and an innocent.

I had asked myself several times if my mother knew what she was getting into, if she knew the destruction it would cause, if she knew how hurt my father would be…I never once tried to find my creator, though I'm sure he was looking for me. I had run from him at the hotel… when he came back. And that's when I decided to look for Edward; it was when I was looking for Edward that I found safety with Jacob. No one would have expected me to be hiding there. Billy was the only person who knew of my secret and he held on to it, he didn't judge me like I know everyone else will.

They judged me without even giving me an actual chance. They simply knew that I was different and to them…that was enough to dislike me. I knew that Jacob wouldn't judge…but he would be overbearing against the non human side of me…he would want to control it and keep it locked in a box; I didn't want to be something he was ashamed of. But I knew telling him I was leaving him would hurt him.

Time is a valuable thing, when you live as long as I have you'll start to watch it fly by you, centuries will change, people will change but you'll remain frozen…it supposed to tick life away, but not for me. I'm stuck here forever as my father's regret and my mother's mistake. I took her life, unwillingly but I did. I was lucky to be raised by crazy humans who thought nothing of me. I was a great shadow in there path's. And when they died…I was sad…but not for them, I was sad that they got to die…like it was some strange right that you got from living.

It's so unreal sometimes to sit back, though I'm sure it was stranger for those who were completely human most of their lives and then turned. I've always been half and half knowing that I wasn't going to get that opportunity watching the humans let their time go out the window. Then when they're changed they try to hold on to that…because they didn't know. They didn't know that they would have to live forever…I knew.

I kept my secrets deep inside, and even as I ran for something or someone I didn't know…I knew that I could only tell them so much. My secrets were a part of me, they were who I was now and nothing would take back the years of loneliness or hurt that they had placed in me. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest screaming to be let out; but I knew it would never happen, it would always beat…I knew.

Life for me was about to fall apart, I knew what I was going to have to do…I couldn't let Jacob hurt this family that I didn't know personally but had a strange attachment to. Their presence offered me peace, and Edward…well I have always had a strange drawing to him…his innocent's stained my hands and though I didn't want this life for him, I was glad that I was going to have a chance to know him.

With Jacob, what he meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard to be my human side. I had planned to stay with him until he died, I knew that he would die and then I could find Edward…but he changed that. His threats changed everything in my mind and now I had to embrace the monster I was.

I can remember all the times we fought over small things, and I knew his reasoning then, but the evil that was growing inside him soon would be domineering over me and I couldn't do that. I know I can just leave, but then he'll hunt me and hurt whoever I grow close to… I can't do that.

In spite of the way he is going to mock me and act like I was part of his property…I'm surprised it hasn't already gotten that far. But I can stop it, I can do this to protect the family I don't even know wants me. Because I don't know…and that sucks, I'm taking a blind leap of faith here and I'm hoping that it doesn't turn back in slap me in the face. Maybe I could ask the tribe to kill me if all ends badly…I can't take the hurt anymore. In the end doesn't really even matter?

I stopped running letting the leaves settle around me and took in my surroundings. I did not have any clue as to where this house would be. My senses were not as good as the others, the vampires that could sniff out a family from a mile away, or hear a storm coming hours before it hit…my senses were half that.

"You're safe here."

I spun around on my heel to see the short pixie girl standing with the blonde haired boy next to a tree. She wore a beautiful smile on her face but he was distance and cautious. He had every right to be. I was a monster.

"How did you know?"

"Oh Bella, I saw you looking for me. So I came…what is it?"

"You saw me coming?"

I dropped my arms to my sides and tilted my head curiously…how could she see me looking for her? I could barely see what I was looking for…let alone that I was looking for her, though if I had to speak to anyone in his family she seemed the most welcoming out of them all.

"I've told you my name before, but I think a new introduction is necessary. I'm Alice Cullen; this is Jasper Cullen my mate."

"Bella."

"I know."

"You still didn't answer my question… how did you know?"

Alice smiled and moved closer to me while Jasper placed a hand on her shoulder to steady her back, that's right, keep her away…it's safer. I smiled back slightly and in order to help Jasper keep Alice's distance I took a weary step back from them both.

"I can see the future Bella."

Well, that doesn't explain a lot. Contrary to the belief I don't think future tellers are much help, can't the future always change anyways? It's based on actions of other's; but here she was telling me she saw me coming and now she claims to see the future.

"You're nervous."

Jasper looked directly at me with his golden eyes the only thought that was running through my head was of course I'm nervous…who wouldn't be? But instead of speaking I checked my stance straightened my shoulders and held my head high. I had been through worse; talking with his family would be no different.

"Jasper, she won't hurt me."

"Why would I hurt you?"

"He's just over protective…you'll learn to love him. I see what you have planned…we'll leave. You don't have much time though; Edward is getting antsy to get Rosalie home before she kills your friend. We'll meet you there. Promise."

"Promise?"

I was a little out of my league talking with these two…my comment was left unanswered but I don't think it was meant to have an answer… I didn't know what she was promising or what she saw me doing… but supposedly we were meeting someplace else. Now I needed to figure out the location, but why would I be meeting them anywhere? I came here in the end for resolution a solid plan…and I was left with more questions. Undoubtedly my own fault, because everything wrong in my life was my fault… and even the future seeing vampire pixie chick had to know that.

My tone was incredulous…and it resonated in a soft whisper off the trees, she said I didn't have much time…so instead of standing around and thinking I began running the path I had taken earlier, the one that led to the area where I left Jacob, and hopefully I'd catch him and we'd run back…that was exactly how long I had to figure out what Alice thought I had already figured out for myself.

Sure enough Jacob's strides matched my own as we both began the run back towards the reservation. The wind had an eerie noise to it that matched the eerie feeling creeping over my arms and running like veins through my chest causing my heart beat to change constantly. I hoped Jacob didn't pick up on my nervousness but I could brush it off if I had to. I knew I had to.

Once we were at the reservation and in front of Jacob's house I waited on the front porch as he shifted and made his way inside to put some clothes on. My fingers sat idly over the hem of my shirt as I watched the wind pick up and then die back down again, once Jacob emerged from the house he took a seat on the porch swing and then looked at me with a victorious grin.

"So what did you tell them?"

"I told them that I wanted them to leave. They promised they would."

"Promise huh? You know I want to rip that blonde chick to shreds, she's got a foul mouth on her."

"You told me if I stayed you'd leave them alone Jacob."

"I know."

Jacob patted seat next to him inviting me to sit next to the real monster, I was mirrored in his eyes and I could feel the pity floating towards me in a giant wave, the rush right before it crashes against my chest and the deafening feeling of not knowing what to do before it hit struck me. So, I listened to his silent command and I sat. Just like a good friend would right?

"So we have time for just us know Bella…and I don't know about you…but I plan to live for a very long time."

I bowed my head down slightly and forced the happiest fake smile on my face that I could while I stared at the ground. I didn't want him to see the anger or the hurt in my eyes so I dared not to look at him.

The next few days moved by just like this, I went through the motions which made my fake smile appear more and more natural by each passing second, it did nothing for the giant knot building in my stomach, I had not had contact with the Cullen's…and as promised they left town without a word or even a goodbye. The reservation celebrated while I wept inside for the loss that I was about to endure. Jacob was becoming increasingly more obnoxious and alarming. His entire pack knew of my secret, he didn't keep it…he handed it out like a trophy…I could see it in his eyes when he spoke of me to his friends, the evil that had taken over his soul as he waved me around as the vampire who knew better…the one who he saved. He didn't save me, I saved myself…but I was about to save him.

I had my plan tucked away in my pocket. No smell, no trace, no nothing, I'd see him in heaven or hell…whichever it was meant to be…but he had become the monster that my father was…and I couldn't watch another man in my life go down that path. To each his own and everyone's got a reason but in the end it doesn't matter.

Tonight is the night, the night I planned to let the monster inside me take over, I slipped into his room while he was asleep and I presently sat at his bed side as he snored away, I planned on waking him without alarming him, but first I had one small thing I had to do…something so potent that only years of having nothing to do would have created it. Its power was held in small little glass tube and I as pinched the vein running through Jacobs left arm and then tucked the tube back into my jacket pocket I let out a deep breath.

Jacob stirred around me until my hand moved over his arm where I had poisoned him…poisoned him with my presence, my friendship, and my undying love for the person he could have been if I had never shown up in his life. They would weep at his funeral… I would weep for him, but his soul would be safe. That was all that mattered.

"Jacob? Are you awake?"

"Bella? What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to apologize."

"For what?"

His voice was harsh and his black eye turned into slits, our friendship died when I had told him what I was and why the Cullen's were looking for me…I tried so hard, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore, and I kept telling myself so that I could keep my sanity. I needed to apologize before it was too late.

"Jacob, I'm leaving now. You'll be in a better place without me…"

Before the words could completely come out, before I could finish my sentence Jacob ran a hand over his face and let out a deep unsettling ground causing me to push myself back a few inches from his bed side.

"You're mine Bella, you're not going anywhere!"

"Jacob, I need to leave now."

"I said you're not going anywhere Bella!"

His hand flew to my arm as his grip tightened I saw the rest of the kindness in his eyes diminish, the angry monster inside him was trying to take over, take his soul, I wouldn't let it though, Jacob was going to die a good man…the way he was meant to.

"Jacob, you're my best friend…I love you, but I'm sorry I have to do this."

"What did you do Bella?"

His hand tightened around my arm even more placing an indention that ran to my bone. I could see my own veins wanting to burst from the pressure but I held my resolve. I didn't move any further away from him. The alarm in his voice told me that he only had a little bit longer. I only had to sit a little bit longer and my reason for being here would be over. It would all be over.

"Jacob, just rest."

"What did you do Bella?"

His voice was a whisper of anger that floated around me before he settled back into his pillows and closed his eyes. I closed my eyes as well and pictured his soul floating to heaven, where I knew it belonged, I pictured the happier times, the one's where we both learned to ride motorcycle's, the memories seemed so long ago and so far away, but I could picture them and held on to them for mercy, hoping that someone above would know why I did this and forgive me. Though I wish it was Jacob's forgiveness and understanding that I had…it doesn't matter now though.

I pulled his fingers from around my arm and stood up moving silently over to the wall clock in his room and pulled it off the wall. I took out the batteries and let time stop for just a second in this moment with him; I would alert his family… I would fake innocence so that they didn't hunt me or the Cullen's I would do it and fake it all for the sake of freedom. They would never understand….no one would. It was yet another secret that I would hold within me.

I started with screaming for Billy's help, he took forever with his wheel chair and wept once he arrived in the room to see his only son lying in his bed without a heartbeat. The cause of death would remain unknown. I would lie though, the autopsy report would say it was heart failure, I would tell them that he got to excited and then just stopped breathing. They would believe me, Jacob had always had a crush on me…I could fake it; though we both knew the truth…it would never happen. Another secret I would take with me.

After the funeral I would pack up again and head north. I don't know where up north I would head, but that was my original plan years ago. I would head north and see what life was like there. Alice had told me she would meet there, wherever there was…I wasn't sure even at this moment. But as the days came and went by, the tears dried in the dirt, a new foundation was started in Jacob's memory and my loss became a huge charity event for the tribe. His friends looked at me like I was crazy, that or the cause. I was the cause…but I would never tell them that.

I placed the one bag I had in the passenger side of my truck and waved good bye to Billy as I drove off. No one else was there to see me out; though I was sure the pack was watching from the wooded distance, they didn't want me here. I didn't blame them anymore. Now they had a reason to hate me.

I drove until my truck broke down on the out skirts of Alaska. The tires were bald and slippery on the ice as I shoved the side of it to get it off the road. I grabbed my duffle bag of very few belongings and began to walk down the road. The night time made the air stale with fresh snow, the ice made it easier to slide along the street as I pictured myself pretending to be a child with loving parents on an ice skating rink. Those kids will never know what they have until it no longer exists, and then they'll hold on as long as they can to that one moment of peace and serenity. I never had that moment.

I couldn't tell you what time it was, things in Alaska were different, telling the time was another story…my mind was still set on the clock in Jacob's room. The one that will forever read 2:43 AM, I slung my bad further over my shoulder and began to pick up pace. I wanted to be out of the eye of the public by time they all awoke. I didn't want to deal with the humans today…or any other day for that matter. They had so much that they took for granted, they dreamed of being like us…while we dreamed of being like them.

A set of beaming lights appeared over a hill top as I moved to this side of the road and walked through the sludge of melted snow and ice. My shoes were now soaking wet but my mood remained somber. I watched the lights disappear at the top of the hill only to return, they appeared to be getting closer faster. I gripped my bad tightly and ducked my head down so that even if someone saw me, they couldn't get a good enough image of me to remain in their memory that long. I would be just another girl walking down the street. But the lights came closer until they stopped and a window rolled down. I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see Alice staring at me.

"Get in; we have a lot to talk about."

My feet hesitated underneath me as I took in the appearance of Alice and the bright yellow car she was driving. I hadn't noticed the color until just now…and she appeared to be alone. Her lips twisted slightly as she reached over to the passenger side of her car and flung the door open, another invitation.

I moved over to the car and bent down through the entry way of the door before placing myself or my bag of few belongings in there with her.

"Are you sure about this Alice?"

"Bella, you're with me now, everything will be fine…just get in, we have so much to talk about."

"Alice…"

"Trust me Bella."

Her eyes were pleading, she could see my indecision, but she had to know that I would be there…I would get in and we would discuss…I don't know what she wanted to discuss but I would tell her what I could. I threw my bag in her back seat and sat down on the leather cushion before closing the door and leaning back. Alice turned her radio down and tilted her head with a smile on her face in my direction.

"He didn't believe me…but I told him you'd be here…I'm so excited Bella, there is such a fun future for us ahead."

I smiled a real genuine smile at her before my head fell back against the seat. The tires of her car squealed around her as she giggled and spun the car around heading into the opposite direction. I'm not much for riding off into the sunset, but there was a beautiful one in front of us with nothing but shadows of my past behind me, this was as good as it was bound to get.


	20. Authors Note

As the great Shrek once said…'Grab your torches and pitch forks!' …yes, I killed Jacob, sorry Team Jacob fans. And yes, I left the story without you getting to read how Edward reacts to Bella and vice versa. Sorry Team Edward fans.

I never said that CDA would have the happiest or most awesomest of endings. The entire story was to tell you what Bella was…how everyone did not guess it astounds me, as Rose said, or well me, we always miss the oh so obvious things when we are looking for something complicated.

I'm oh so thrilled that people have followed, read, and reviewed CDA. I love you all…you are all oh so awesome. And for those wondering…I will not be writing a sequel, I've pushed out a lot of writing in the last few months…so I'm taking a mental breather for right now. Go read Worlds Divided. I'm proud of that little lemon and it's just not getting enough attention.

If you have questions comments or concerns, I love answering them so just type away! I promise to respond and thank you again for reading!!

Me.


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